tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7767700935366149492024-03-12T21:46:15.119-04:00All That I know Is I'm BreathingI am a mid thirties woman with Cystic Fibrosis living life. I am a runner, a partner, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an employee, a reader, a writer and silly girl who really just tries to have a little fun on this journey. Come on along!Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-28621912812387376732011-06-09T14:38:00.000-04:002011-06-09T14:38:59.205-04:00Then and Now- the 2011 editionFor the sake of this post, then encompasses 2000-2008 and now is 2008 onward. Ok.. Glad we got that squared away. I was athletically active from the time I was about 6, maybe before. I played year round soccer, basketball and later softball. After high school and college, I became a runner and then a triathlete (to pacify this swimming coach at the gym I went to who regularly told me I had promise) and then a runner again.<br />
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There are a few things I know about myself. I often compare myself to myself at other points in time and realize that is not healthy. I am extremely competitive against myself and I push myself way harder than a human should be pushed.<br />
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I had a pretty severe bicycle accident in 2006/7 when I was training for Ironman Wisconsin. It resulted in 18 procedures/surgeries and the finale was the loss of my right kidney. I was hit by a car and needless to say, my road biking/triathlon career ended at that precise moment... that is fine with me. It was then. It was at a time. My CF spiraled out of control from that point until now (simply just meaning the last 2 weeks) and I was unable to re-reach that physical fitness, but I've never lost hope that I will one day run 6x a week. As they say, "Every journey must start with a single step." (I did not coin that phrase, and I'm sure I got it wrong, but credit where credit is due.) Today I no longer want to be 5% body fat. Today I want to be happy.<br />
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That all being said. I LOVE with all my heart and soul, to run. I love the motion, the speed (or lack of speed as these days would have it), the sweatiness, the dried salt all over my body, the mental clarity...<br />
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I Love to Run.<br />
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I went through the archives (then) to reminisce and I was thrilled that I had that time, <i>then.</i>.. but you know... I am much happier and stronger <i>now. </i><br />
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<i>The following photos are circa 2004-2007</i><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Those are all pretty cool pictures to have in my scrapbook.. but wait.. look at this joy</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxihCJBPOVx2NE5bKqsmN1Pbso1E3c6eOrEtZRveQIc7dzWjDU4dshxlYhx9nRXdfw0UAQ_ygK0zYVj8b2Icg1yxjByr61ejpdIGN25LMFJ8myFR-Njn2IF8p3rFqMBUiNpCx2f3Z6lKg/s1600/run060911.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxihCJBPOVx2NE5bKqsmN1Pbso1E3c6eOrEtZRveQIc7dzWjDU4dshxlYhx9nRXdfw0UAQ_ygK0zYVj8b2Icg1yxjByr61ejpdIGN25LMFJ8myFR-Njn2IF8p3rFqMBUiNpCx2f3Z6lKg/s320/run060911.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is me now (today actually) happily propelling forward in some motion... I guess until you can't do something you don't realize how happy you really are doing it.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am blessed because I can breathe.</div><i><br />
</i>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-56646919362855283272011-06-08T16:26:00.000-04:002011-06-08T16:26:07.232-04:0090 Degrees and Sweaty!Today I am extremely happy to have a normal kind of day. It is 90+ and humid in the northeast, so I am in the central air. My asthma is horrid in this weather, so I am being cautious. The errand or 2 I needed to do I did between 8-9:30am. It feels reasonable to lay low. It's not something I've ever been good at. I push and push and push, but the doctor wants me to heal so now I heal and heal and heal. It's a good life.<br />
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I haven't gotten my liver values back yet. I should get them back later today or tomorrow. I am looking forward to that.<br />
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I go for the 6 hr, 50gm IVIG infusion on Friday at the hospital and then Nitza's parents come in on Saturday... I am so excited for their visit!!<br />
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No news here is good news here.Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-17691940774442100262011-06-07T15:16:00.001-04:002011-06-07T15:16:13.087-04:00Little victoriesI am a list-maker. I transfer lists from i-devices to paper and back. I am completely anxious if I cannot complete said list. I am NOT spontaneous, but am at times impulsive. I lay out plans and I follow them.<br /><br />In the northeast today it is above 90. I completed my lists and was sitting at the kitchen table. I thought , maybe I will go to the lake for 2 hours... <br /><br />What??!!?? So I thought long and hard about it for a good 20 minutes... Action, consequences etc. So... I packed 96 oz of Gatorade, my chair , sunscreen and the nook. I drove the 3 miles and took this is...<br /><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/show_photo.php?p=11/06/07/2327.jpg'><img src='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/photos/11/06/07/s_2327.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />The little road reminds me of Robert frost.<br />And then I sat and looked at this...<br /><br /><center><a href='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/show_photo.php?p=11/06/07/2328.jpg'><img src='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/photos/11/06/07/s_2328.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />And the world saw this...<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/show_photo.php?p=11/06/07/2329.jpg'><img src='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/photos/11/06/07/s_2329.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />And all the while I really came to understand that sometimes, just sometimes it's okay to leave the list on the kitchen table and the laundry unfolded and simply bask in the beauty of gods world.<br /><br />Happy Tuesday <br /><br />Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-89323480476825209632011-06-06T17:50:00.000-04:002011-06-06T17:50:48.357-04:00what the pft?As most of you know, I have had a terrible year plus. My pft's hit their all time low about 8 weeks ago at an fev1 of 51%. I was sick. It took some time, but the root cause of my systemic infections and inability to fight infections was finally identified and treated.<br />
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I went today to blow pft's and THIS is what happened:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">That is an FEV1 of 134%. What???? I was whooping and hollering and happy.. because I've spent, of the last 24 months, at least 18 of them with my port accessed and some cocktail of 2 or 3 antibiotics going into my system. For the grace of god...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We also drew liver labs and did a sputum.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This topped off a really wonderful weekend.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">About 5 miles from our home is a cute little lake and it happens to be ale's favorite summer spot... we spend most weekends there as a family or with friends... this weekend we spent saturday at the lake with some friends:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmIchA9PhEZUQ_hX3hzZqSgp-CNvNlPVLaw_B_q8o-lxJZuZRsEA0ZikssKQbn_4PqIy_ZuSlgyx5iJIbjofWXl7MGEENCMu8Q5Q0kOtMhsUUbfxloZXsSna9E5PEQwaKmfWkdPja5hQQ/s1600/IMG_8959.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmIchA9PhEZUQ_hX3hzZqSgp-CNvNlPVLaw_B_q8o-lxJZuZRsEA0ZikssKQbn_4PqIy_ZuSlgyx5iJIbjofWXl7MGEENCMu8Q5Q0kOtMhsUUbfxloZXsSna9E5PEQwaKmfWkdPja5hQQ/s320/IMG_8959.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale looking out at the water</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3obrznxarkvBBhiLWcwV9y6yXynFPFTJdvtcZlbOwi04Y9O7aRNaZRvZMevz5_-JOVuuvgYUFAKKIoov28yHNrs_j_0fGwj_uoVYb32OJmPVBIxvi6qAih9dcUfnfR42fHs9ZHXU0HTw/s1600/IMG_8989.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3obrznxarkvBBhiLWcwV9y6yXynFPFTJdvtcZlbOwi04Y9O7aRNaZRvZMevz5_-JOVuuvgYUFAKKIoov28yHNrs_j_0fGwj_uoVYb32OJmPVBIxvi6qAih9dcUfnfR42fHs9ZHXU0HTw/s320/IMG_8989.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Cuddling into his monkey towel</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbxhtJ7XJUck0dK4iYfcdsjr45jktjK6PeWSB6zwJ4md3w0LxH3MwU6GQpj5yCTRsH9VqFlXujbcxBXz2k4UZZQ_tQS96E71luGLcosm2J7JKqcEU4aEa3zlyECYXyq5aiETWk9988I_g/s1600/IMG_8994.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbxhtJ7XJUck0dK4iYfcdsjr45jktjK6PeWSB6zwJ4md3w0LxH3MwU6GQpj5yCTRsH9VqFlXujbcxBXz2k4UZZQ_tQS96E71luGLcosm2J7JKqcEU4aEa3zlyECYXyq5aiETWk9988I_g/s320/IMG_8994.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Nitza drinks gatorade</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaYt9hmz2MKRDF-kQbPplXbht4nIrMBnrS8ZutdCZw8ejdC4QK4y1wj8hUjpLcpVFvGNep94gk6c-q7pq8GxOtGVUDxmb4T5jorkT-IzhDU9AGBlhFQ2-a5Dj7mrY0dyEhPAbf4_yGjic/s1600/IMG_9028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaYt9hmz2MKRDF-kQbPplXbht4nIrMBnrS8ZutdCZw8ejdC4QK4y1wj8hUjpLcpVFvGNep94gk6c-q7pq8GxOtGVUDxmb4T5jorkT-IzhDU9AGBlhFQ2-a5Dj7mrY0dyEhPAbf4_yGjic/s320/IMG_9028.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">He's the muddy king of the lake!!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBvSkS_4tLSiDkBoOi7PfxZL9_4pdUufYVeYmfyxbT0A3nwgm-c7RkRgFT2xh1KWkUNbpVOFDc_2HBHGx1bTeo2x58W-8Bb8TMgvBUhquIndjhtTBDyndAo6pD0D_X-rqXyk-_FnPMIK8/s1600/IMG_9007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBvSkS_4tLSiDkBoOi7PfxZL9_4pdUufYVeYmfyxbT0A3nwgm-c7RkRgFT2xh1KWkUNbpVOFDc_2HBHGx1bTeo2x58W-8Bb8TMgvBUhquIndjhtTBDyndAo6pD0D_X-rqXyk-_FnPMIK8/s320/IMG_9007.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">... and much to Nitza's dismay.. a tadpole.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">**********************************************</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">On Sunday we went to MA to celebrate my sister's graduation with a picnic.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRu_XHcisH-29wP69UTq2dlsC9m7akf5qaCurCRA-0j1_AO9UoOafyBuOYbWAzIZYIr8LefDiK0U4c578CDFfhJVZlaMHJ5tXIJ3OLyybtERXvBpnZak4rmo7PuI6GPM-42pkuG21bFGw/s1600/IMG_9042.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRu_XHcisH-29wP69UTq2dlsC9m7akf5qaCurCRA-0j1_AO9UoOafyBuOYbWAzIZYIr8LefDiK0U4c578CDFfhJVZlaMHJ5tXIJ3OLyybtERXvBpnZak4rmo7PuI6GPM-42pkuG21bFGw/s320/IMG_9042.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Erin's Backyard</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIaciyZogIpMK0PNhPCzWC83FfRJmvpKIKuKANcjvTC9aqxMT8SQNfBRyw5uSLx50kQWvk6RuLjmimjovg6Lk9SCvDk3iCuX2hFQ0llr51UB-fRRl571aPz8AJrLdBUKHNpgz4TUUfr6Q/s1600/IMG_9048.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIaciyZogIpMK0PNhPCzWC83FfRJmvpKIKuKANcjvTC9aqxMT8SQNfBRyw5uSLx50kQWvk6RuLjmimjovg6Lk9SCvDk3iCuX2hFQ0llr51UB-fRRl571aPz8AJrLdBUKHNpgz4TUUfr6Q/s320/IMG_9048.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Erin and her diploma</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDQlxH46OyuCr2EBslrlqjg08Azl_RIJGwuBIyKvAaqxDlA-TmZ8vGC8Kh9g5CPmVoDvtrZzZt5y5etYgetSQ_s9_FZSw-yQzXPpiSco_SEEXHSTcYw9cn-MTM6qV_yM8La8nxyjogoro/s1600/IMG_9096.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDQlxH46OyuCr2EBslrlqjg08Azl_RIJGwuBIyKvAaqxDlA-TmZ8vGC8Kh9g5CPmVoDvtrZzZt5y5etYgetSQ_s9_FZSw-yQzXPpiSco_SEEXHSTcYw9cn-MTM6qV_yM8La8nxyjogoro/s320/IMG_9096.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Erin's card</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRcTRfCQjzmTh-GkKP4zqK0eZETgwfBZaCOnHUcSVFo6G6LRxj8ER8yNGS7mu3StwM2GoW2MDGrX1eb9xz7igjnOjwL36SCvlXdzA5e2Rfoc0T5jxg-vroj-7x9DaACoUsyxM4cHOyScQ/s1600/IMG_9098.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRcTRfCQjzmTh-GkKP4zqK0eZETgwfBZaCOnHUcSVFo6G6LRxj8ER8yNGS7mu3StwM2GoW2MDGrX1eb9xz7igjnOjwL36SCvlXdzA5e2Rfoc0T5jxg-vroj-7x9DaACoUsyxM4cHOyScQ/s320/IMG_9098.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Mom and Oscar</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjydo_k0uMOD7CQGTO6cCs76aUiG6rj4tkP57XWhesuGk-GNk2Zl9WFVpfSxGmYgNXhQRueU4AGu2_ftYqtPJOiXvyuEzaj2-zceuuo8Hg3nz2ZgZCCw-0h_HErREuMMVvPX_bRPSc6WyY/s1600/IMG_9101.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjydo_k0uMOD7CQGTO6cCs76aUiG6rj4tkP57XWhesuGk-GNk2Zl9WFVpfSxGmYgNXhQRueU4AGu2_ftYqtPJOiXvyuEzaj2-zceuuo8Hg3nz2ZgZCCw-0h_HErREuMMVvPX_bRPSc6WyY/s320/IMG_9101.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Kelly and Oscar</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWSVBjB6DJ_8Y2y9Y9QsMNTB4hLE1rupQ8vVKt9vdYPPlGFE0-ACDtAfD_uXT8AMaNXK6jEbH4ObZYKPuoILNT6cPPz7XGKSSyOSkHiqI36-PDrjRw8h6hvd7wWQkndKG4s0wHxrkjH9c/s1600/IMG_9110.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWSVBjB6DJ_8Y2y9Y9QsMNTB4hLE1rupQ8vVKt9vdYPPlGFE0-ACDtAfD_uXT8AMaNXK6jEbH4ObZYKPuoILNT6cPPz7XGKSSyOSkHiqI36-PDrjRw8h6hvd7wWQkndKG4s0wHxrkjH9c/s320/IMG_9110.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Oscar</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ7iHWH3q2PB8fNwd213HQqfvl1B6xt7vlQvYyEhZsEolPyT-Ba4z79Sv4gOtWQ8UsL8Ra8YKD4vnnhrTgktQeWchXwkXVxQ6O-_8Pd-FnoTuF3jm_Jvjecn73J3vyO-6KhbD3U3Xkjjc/s1600/IMG_9142.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ7iHWH3q2PB8fNwd213HQqfvl1B6xt7vlQvYyEhZsEolPyT-Ba4z79Sv4gOtWQ8UsL8Ra8YKD4vnnhrTgktQeWchXwkXVxQ6O-_8Pd-FnoTuF3jm_Jvjecn73J3vyO-6KhbD3U3Xkjjc/s320/IMG_9142.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Tom and Oscar</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKNPk_nHTGU2rNqVljmjzB2V_p3SzOtkuHMj5ridQeYkuxQXXoj0WHJc4CJEX4LpFQtscUeRhvVjPMKmr5xb1qJTDgahgKMq5khlFvWMM8VocYLsoRortx1Vu8xC4N1mK4bj3-NoaHuRg/s1600/IMG_9154.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKNPk_nHTGU2rNqVljmjzB2V_p3SzOtkuHMj5ridQeYkuxQXXoj0WHJc4CJEX4LpFQtscUeRhvVjPMKmr5xb1qJTDgahgKMq5khlFvWMM8VocYLsoRortx1Vu8xC4N1mK4bj3-NoaHuRg/s320/IMG_9154.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Brother Mike and his girlfriend and son</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj9Uy_sgSTwXSVHgGfHtTkEb42Ntd4FH7BE-M0LwnTCXw9498_PfU6ksiDBO0fowiUBYbCW7ZnaYsNRATeF3G6wKSfvGSWwLDs75FOs8LV8tYvc18D8p-PftrH1DcrDr4p8O_LZFT1dl8/s1600/IMG_9159.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj9Uy_sgSTwXSVHgGfHtTkEb42Ntd4FH7BE-M0LwnTCXw9498_PfU6ksiDBO0fowiUBYbCW7ZnaYsNRATeF3G6wKSfvGSWwLDs75FOs8LV8tYvc18D8p-PftrH1DcrDr4p8O_LZFT1dl8/s320/IMG_9159.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Me</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghf3s_hTCkEfZeKK4X_ZW0zKxKAxcVyDtWCZ0NcK1pghoHVfylGFFR19LqgnkEZhbHM87lyRUbwc3x6uTNCcoOQfvWqil4FR7wqGL5ptQsjMPbUNI4Kbakmtev-XkpzLKrkCuP3wtaXmM/s1600/IMG_9186.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghf3s_hTCkEfZeKK4X_ZW0zKxKAxcVyDtWCZ0NcK1pghoHVfylGFFR19LqgnkEZhbHM87lyRUbwc3x6uTNCcoOQfvWqil4FR7wqGL5ptQsjMPbUNI4Kbakmtev-XkpzLKrkCuP3wtaXmM/s320/IMG_9186.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Mom, Nitza and Ale</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am truly grateful for the abundance of my life.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-16444691078972154332011-06-04T04:58:00.000-04:002011-06-04T04:58:38.889-04:00saturday (almost) sunriseI'm up again. This time, however, it had very little to do with sadness and a racy mind, and much more to do with the great idea I had that we have a family slumber party... we got ale a full sized loft bed to go over his bed for a few reasons... the whole "nook" effect under, having a place for grandma and grandpa to sleep, and keeping his room updated to his age.<br />
<br />
SO, i wanted to be sure nitza or i slept in that upper bed for comfort, safety etc before ale slept there alone, so why not call it a slumber party...<br />
<br />
and so i am awake. the five year old sundial is skinny with bony elbows and knees, but the bed was fine :)<br />
<br />
ale rode his bike for the first time this season yesterday. it was adorable. he is a very very cautious little guy. he has always approached life that way. last year on his bike he peddled, but stayed close to me. this year, i put his helmet on him and did the whole bike safety check thing and helped him on the bike and turned to close the garage door and the boy was gone... like lightening bolt. so he gave me his "taggie" to hold and I ran roadside next to him while he peddled away in flip-flops and crazy looking hair and we were a sight to behold and it was the most beautiful 40 minutes of my day.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZJbO2XJIKOvrSORgfUvJgiNj7Bvthycdg_iyStVIyCoEtRn69_7_GJGYx_rW83Nj01Lwr5VDfBdJSVdKE_Y8FQR5biCG2rpUlfvsRbWQ5rpbiGpUBCcOLieNtRhod9q_tEMGSuBnikyc/s1600/241465_10150270388221163_658466162_9463616_603931_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZJbO2XJIKOvrSORgfUvJgiNj7Bvthycdg_iyStVIyCoEtRn69_7_GJGYx_rW83Nj01Lwr5VDfBdJSVdKE_Y8FQR5biCG2rpUlfvsRbWQ5rpbiGpUBCcOLieNtRhod9q_tEMGSuBnikyc/s320/241465_10150270388221163_658466162_9463616_603931_o.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9hsS-AMtba73ci4-65gfKFLnPMr8eeu2kU0FvMkVVosGGCGKfaaPdHtFruUFUIu2Rrl4WzsclvHM1b4sOy2jri4K4755Ox-RFaEpk4EmWk0e35Ky-FEkqQ-GOc0Ja1TwwtvxuufcEfyM/s1600/241542_10150270390171163_658466162_9463629_5320293_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9hsS-AMtba73ci4-65gfKFLnPMr8eeu2kU0FvMkVVosGGCGKfaaPdHtFruUFUIu2Rrl4WzsclvHM1b4sOy2jri4K4755Ox-RFaEpk4EmWk0e35Ky-FEkqQ-GOc0Ja1TwwtvxuufcEfyM/s320/241542_10150270390171163_658466162_9463629_5320293_o.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg89wlGX776yjIGdU7Ns46Yy7-v31SSfumFCXCG5EkRUF1s10tMkwsHTCVXWwYOXlosiUuyzM0GQYmT2NQLi0N__FZ_6GcCgThvas0iHmcS6R1cv9jCv5D8SrctInfujoTYDc_7_ZtilM/s1600/259547_10150270387626163_658466162_9463614_698233_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg89wlGX776yjIGdU7Ns46Yy7-v31SSfumFCXCG5EkRUF1s10tMkwsHTCVXWwYOXlosiUuyzM0GQYmT2NQLi0N__FZ_6GcCgThvas0iHmcS6R1cv9jCv5D8SrctInfujoTYDc_7_ZtilM/s320/259547_10150270387626163_658466162_9463614_698233_o.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-35002732121258933552011-06-03T04:58:00.000-04:002011-06-03T04:58:22.942-04:00rolling along with love in my heart<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I never really know which words to capitalize in the title of a blog post.. i'm much more ee cummings-like and would prefer to write in all lowercase letters, but once in a while that auto-correct throws a capital letter and I just don't feel like going back to fix it. additionally, sometimes and i stress <i>sometimes, </i>the catholic school grammar teachers squeal in my head.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">and i digress.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz2JMPBCjcgd404kD_7kcvjspAu4y0mS-qWodj0KLRhKoIYz6XI96YW5rYhRlAbIQaJu3bbtuSYh8rfLIlR6QdldKbTKjwWWDF2GJOrKVzxJUt66MH8B6hNBqjRCeEGvITKBMXIQqCD-s7/s1600/ee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz2JMPBCjcgd404kD_7kcvjspAu4y0mS-qWodj0KLRhKoIYz6XI96YW5rYhRlAbIQaJu3bbtuSYh8rfLIlR6QdldKbTKjwWWDF2GJOrKVzxJUt66MH8B6hNBqjRCeEGvITKBMXIQqCD-s7/s320/ee.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="225" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">(image courtesy of http://favoritethingsforever.tumblr.com/)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">on the health front, things are progressing nicely. my lungs are taking in the air, and loving it. the new steroid we've added to my mix has <i>really</i> made a huge difference. unlike some cf patients, i respond incredibly to bronchio-dialators-- this is my asthmatic component. i am grateful for this. my liver enzymes continue to trend downward, and we have identified that it was a toxic reaction to the accumulation of six months of iv antibiotics (with some breaks here and there.) it will take a while to normalize completely, but this whole liver, acute health situation has <i>really </i>opened my eyes... about a lot of things, but at this moment i'm referring to my body.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">i'm pretty health conscious. i don't drink. i don't smoke. i don't ingest any product that would harm me, except coffee but that's a whole other post, and even now i'm down to 2 cups a day. i was taking 16 pills every morning, many every 4-6 hours and then another handful at night. with the help of my doctor, we've cut it down to 4 in the am and 2 in the pm... and i feel good as gold right now. this is my vehicle, my way through life and i really need to push back sometimes and draw the line. some meds are necessary at some points, but heck not always all of them.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">i am also back on my every three week ivig infusion cycle that i had gotten off of due to health insurance issues. this is really helping my immune system and energy. i am thankful to god for where i sit right now.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzWxKpFbISgO3PZ9CRv6AFU2FTzF6gBFnf5esZWdERR-1fuzWCTyjwUqkg8FT0Yeck-N-Sejp5mxMsUqa0acEMGYplcgYyxsOisOLEq7MEpf5-ki9fAp8z2CDhO2UmZ7vH2vaZKku32r0k/s1600/IMG_8844.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzWxKpFbISgO3PZ9CRv6AFU2FTzF6gBFnf5esZWdERR-1fuzWCTyjwUqkg8FT0Yeck-N-Sejp5mxMsUqa0acEMGYplcgYyxsOisOLEq7MEpf5-ki9fAp8z2CDhO2UmZ7vH2vaZKku32r0k/s320/IMG_8844.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a>on the family front, life is beautiful... and beautiful doesn't seem to cut it, you know? i adore my family. i am in love with them... and it's not the big things... i can do without the big things... it's the little things. two nights ago i was cleaning up the kitchen and preparing dinner for nitza and myself (ale had already eaten) and he had his 475 thomas and friends engines out. he has been a die hard thomas lover since he received his first engine from a family friend at the age of one. he is five and a half and those engines, though they get put away sometimes, are a dear confidant of this young boy... so, in the middle of moving around the kitchen at seven pm (when bath time should be commencing), he wanted to draw faces on tiny squares of paper and tape them to the front of the engines so that every face would look like the troublesome trucks</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA9TjzIb9pI3KysoVlQw_7cI4hQXJd0QuofGjKmGz512Ka5FfgbKrfUfAfXc0C-hfa5QwNAY4iJzBK37dV58B8GHXQXgjh3_l8URgKs6BCHHwOWIvxurHbzHxw8b9ZGQM8yiI6tlaYEcDP/s1600/troublesometrucks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA9TjzIb9pI3KysoVlQw_7cI4hQXJd0QuofGjKmGz512Ka5FfgbKrfUfAfXc0C-hfa5QwNAY4iJzBK37dV58B8GHXQXgjh3_l8URgKs6BCHHwOWIvxurHbzHxw8b9ZGQM8yiI6tlaYEcDP/s320/troublesometrucks.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="274" /></a></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">(image courtesy of http://www.thomasandfriends.com)</div></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">(why the troublesome trucks and not my personal favorite Percy i'll never know), and i looked down at his serious little face, scrutinizing the line of engines and i stopped what i was doing, went to the craft bin and got white paper, a gray marker scissors and tape. (dinner was starting to burn). I cut teeny tiny squares (scissor anxiety) while he drew the faces and then upon request i taped them... (and dinner turned out terrible) and these were the most rewarding, happy moments of my day because i am alive and have this beautiful boy and have the time to cut tiny squares... a thousand times over i would cut tiny squares because <a href="http://notsobrightandshiny.blogspot.com/">Sarah Jones</a> cannot cut tiny squares with Conner and so while I was cutting tiny squares with ale, i was also cutting tiny squares for sarah... for conner... and later on, after ale was many moments into sleep, i cried... in sadness for those who have lost and for true gratitude for what i have.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB7p0j9so6tW6u98KntRoEe94FJgVbUrNFgi7JX7Lz5HT2uaxM9MPEAgQK66GSxx_FeY-OaUG_H3uci9LXCjHOKaVzZWQWPqyf8XBqMBZsYvmeWIoCum6Yka4-flnYgbaQMTibJB8jby1t/s1600/heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB7p0j9so6tW6u98KntRoEe94FJgVbUrNFgi7JX7Lz5HT2uaxM9MPEAgQK66GSxx_FeY-OaUG_H3uci9LXCjHOKaVzZWQWPqyf8XBqMBZsYvmeWIoCum6Yka4-flnYgbaQMTibJB8jby1t/s1600/heart.jpg" style="cursor: move;" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">(image courtesy of http://www.zedge.net)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">i have always been a feeler. it has worked against me at times. it is hard to be in this world when sometimes you don't feel like you have skin. as kids we went to a public swimming pool just over the bridge from home. they had 45 minutes for child swim and 15 minutes for adult swim every hour. one day during adult swim there was a young girl in the water splashing around with her mother. i asked my mother (out of curiosity, not envy) why this little girl was in the water (i was always afraid of breaking rules), and my mother told me it was because she was blind and needed to be in the water when it was safest for her. i was quiet. i sat back and watched. the fifteen minutes of adult swim passed and the girl got out of the water, but i couldn't go on laughing and playing like i did before i understood what i perceived to be this girl <i>missing out</i> (whatever that really means in hindsight). the rest of my day i just wanted to play with the girl and i was sick about this for a few days. i have pain when others have pain. i don't love it and i have learned to deal with it, but at times its really really hard. and that's why i am awake. something wakes me in the evening and my mind starts on a movie reel of what ive taken in from the day... just life and sometimes there is just enough sadness that i cannot go back to sleep, but you know that's ok. i like the person i am and if it means some sleepless nights, so be it. i am able to truly connect with people and i believe that its a part of me (and so many others) that god has put in my heart... and there is a whole lot of strawberry eating beauty in this world for me to take in</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlpxYnpELt4R4WJCorLlVTzSJto18OIxjr4xTPghSi-IUvsGhTnFzC_tF_qmjiySFbpvgU6jBPF1hG0hFLQ8pTZqurnlZL_-omcTIqTIu3RsiZmGHALq9P4DEqUqsbqVYgIuuL_Gvijz2x/s1600/IMG_8872.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlpxYnpELt4R4WJCorLlVTzSJto18OIxjr4xTPghSi-IUvsGhTnFzC_tF_qmjiySFbpvgU6jBPF1hG0hFLQ8pTZqurnlZL_-omcTIqTIu3RsiZmGHALq9P4DEqUqsbqVYgIuuL_Gvijz2x/s320/IMG_8872.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">and did you know my favorite color is orange... i love everything orange and i mean <i>everything</i>, and it makes my heart so happy to see this orange gerbera daisy blooming in our garden after nitza replanted it from when my mom brought it to me in the hospital.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXGulP2EJ-VnJ2Gcs4prqRWIwwPFUk8FnOo7BCHPYrjnMBqscZKjn-BS3VuQtFmuE0eC0W8FrPuxvn9nEvKGjz-cL5xzgLTdAS9Gg6GF7G2eWIDpCPve2lOcaQzJxqkdXyiXfKX8bqmVr-/s1600/IMG_8854.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXGulP2EJ-VnJ2Gcs4prqRWIwwPFUk8FnOo7BCHPYrjnMBqscZKjn-BS3VuQtFmuE0eC0W8FrPuxvn9nEvKGjz-cL5xzgLTdAS9Gg6GF7G2eWIDpCPve2lOcaQzJxqkdXyiXfKX8bqmVr-/s320/IMG_8854.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">wow this is getting long and babbling. today is friday and i am looking forward to today and the upcoming weekend. we are making the trip to see my family for my sister's graduation party...</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">DID I MENTION THAT ERIN IS A NURSE?? (i love you my dear baby sister). hopefully there will be pictures to follow.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijOxyTPq44fnLdQ3OhhePXUg4tJjydmSy4l7n6KVkfEx6kBAboQBKfZba2nIV56pqRF79aHSrUzJr2SxIvGoG1Lj8m8XxCQ2A2jAEDmo0c6uWY4VnXWU3IebBhhXX8pwocA-Xys6683Ny_/s1600/IMG_8901.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijOxyTPq44fnLdQ3OhhePXUg4tJjydmSy4l7n6KVkfEx6kBAboQBKfZba2nIV56pqRF79aHSrUzJr2SxIvGoG1Lj8m8XxCQ2A2jAEDmo0c6uWY4VnXWU3IebBhhXX8pwocA-Xys6683Ny_/s320/IMG_8901.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">Beautiful Erin the the processional to the stage.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijOxyTPq44fnLdQ3OhhePXUg4tJjydmSy4l7n6KVkfEx6kBAboQBKfZba2nIV56pqRF79aHSrUzJr2SxIvGoG1Lj8m8XxCQ2A2jAEDmo0c6uWY4VnXWU3IebBhhXX8pwocA-Xys6683Ny_/s1600/IMG_8901.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-3Tsrq73qq21qUSuJ0WhkBcKWk_k3m0UMygsE0ZTildrXJ_IB81uDxRZdvUl_Jw3BgHivU5aSMEa8Wbp_GO9c1TWtoSELnLv50HhBFyFyEK4-godIxKMM6fpEU6hxWlp2XagDvdzKQZt/s1600/IMG_8937.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-3Tsrq73qq21qUSuJ0WhkBcKWk_k3m0UMygsE0ZTildrXJ_IB81uDxRZdvUl_Jw3BgHivU5aSMEa8Wbp_GO9c1TWtoSELnLv50HhBFyFyEK4-godIxKMM6fpEU6hxWlp2XagDvdzKQZt/s320/IMG_8937.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">Erin.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">let the madness ensue with a endless face squeezing hugs from my blondie nephew to my gorgeous grandmother, his great-grandmother.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1vA3FzuHpfkFeXQFitj5VOJGVYOf11jKR7HJU4on7cnB-sEu0UT7X5M8-PuXUQViSN8krFvAdzwtiIx7dqW1lfmqb8nnsgkTgB0XhFncTvsNFwSVh25MoP-Y9D79yV-X4DpQ1KC2en-R/s1600/IMG_8918.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1vA3FzuHpfkFeXQFitj5VOJGVYOf11jKR7HJU4on7cnB-sEu0UT7X5M8-PuXUQViSN8krFvAdzwtiIx7dqW1lfmqb8nnsgkTgB0XhFncTvsNFwSVh25MoP-Y9D79yV-X4DpQ1KC2en-R/s320/IMG_8918.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">ive been having trouble uploading pics, hence the last number of posts with a whole lot of words, but ill get it figured out.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7ad_POMpMTiA-j5jDDa0Wsog8Q2PAt92PTqPGB0ns9xA60cQIFC9AXBTLLO_nfMNHTM5SxQcBpXXk14dnIl1hEri85Q8j5VT7Qp_Su-XEM8IodYjFh6qPk7Elujd3ieFlsoRRzyzaJjKx/s1600/IMG_8935.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7ad_POMpMTiA-j5jDDa0Wsog8Q2PAt92PTqPGB0ns9xA60cQIFC9AXBTLLO_nfMNHTM5SxQcBpXXk14dnIl1hEri85Q8j5VT7Qp_Su-XEM8IodYjFh6qPk7Elujd3ieFlsoRRzyzaJjKx/s320/IMG_8935.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">for today, <i>this</i> is how i am going to take on life.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> thanks for reading my very long windy monologue about troublesome trucks and a whole lot of feeling.</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-66856312412347107392011-06-01T21:54:00.000-04:002011-06-01T21:54:29.682-04:00RN, OxyClean & HealthMy sister has a degree in psychology but decided to go back to school to become an RN... The medical field just gained one more caring, clinically proficient soul... and as a frequent patient, I sure am glad...<br />
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S E R I N<br />
<br />
<br />
We have a television in our basement. We don't have cable or watch tv. Tonight I made a mess in the kitchen and Alejandro suggested I buy some OxyClean to clean it. I spun my head around trying to stifle a laugh. He saw a "tv show" on OxyClean at his Dad's house and explained precisely what this product does. He makes a hard sell.<br />
<br />
<br />
My liver functions are still trending down. I am extremely grateful. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.. they are much appreciated. I will continue to keep you posted. When I picked Ale up from school today he asked me if I was healthy. I said yes. He asked me if every part of me was healthy. I said yes, but that there is a part of me that will always be kind of sick even if I don't seem sick. He asked me if my bones were sick (I was diagnosed with osteomylitis). i said yes. He asked me if my lungs were sick. I said, not right now. He asked me if my belly was sick (gastritis), I said no. He asked me if we could do throws (before bath every night I throw him in the air 10 times, but cannot when my port is accessed), I said yes. He asked me if we had to do special hugs (again, when port is accessed) and i said no. He asked me if I was going to be able to swim in the lake (again port), I said yes. He asked if I was going to be able to run again, I said yes. To which he gave me a hug and said, good, because its more fun when you are not sick. I love him.<br />
<br />
Tonight was a normal kind of night with dinner, making all engines look like the troublesome trucks, mommy doing cool things to Ale's room and books and 2 prayers.. the nighttime ritual.. and I was awake for it.<br />
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My family lives in the town over from where the tornado hit and thank God they are all okay. Prayers for all the families affected by this horrendous weather.Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-40572815957816680082011-05-30T10:39:00.000-04:002011-05-30T10:39:06.494-04:00Being Forthright & Too much HospitalSo it's been 11 days since I posted a blog update and <i>most</i> of that is due to the fact that I've been pretty sick and I often hide when I'm scared to death or fear that <i>vulnerability </i>that is really too uncomfortable to feel.<br />
<br />
The medical:<br />
I was in the hospital a week ( after already being in 5 weeks this year)... I had a tooth abscess that had apparently been there a long time and showed up on x-rays and was substantial enough to need to remove asap. I guess when you are immunocompromised and you have an active infection for a long time, the goal is to get it out. So i had oral surgery (6 stitches) and then a few days later another oral surgery to re-clean the bone (osteomylitis) and remove debris etc. They <i>promised </i>me that I'd be fine on oral anti-biotics. I'm not going to argue with Infectious diseases so we left on oral antibiotics. I went to the hospital that Friday for an IVIG infusion (6 hours) and a CT scan of my mouth. It showed cellulitis and more abscess. On Monday (7 days ago) I had a third oral surgery and the cleaning of that bone and sent home on pain meds with IV antibiotics to begin for a month. My home nurse came and we did the run through of Dorepenem (I am fine with merepenem) -- She did the infusion and stayed because it was my first time on dorepenem. The infusion ended at 9pm and I woke up projectile vomiting at 1130pm-7pm the next day, but I am lucky to have the best nurse in the world, so she came back at 730 Tuesday morning and talked to my doc. We soon understood I was very sick and needed admission. I had a bed at 330.<br />
Nitza came with me and really took the bull by the horns there because I hadn't peed and had no tears etc from the dehydration. It was determined that my liver enzymes ALT (was 3700 (normal is 50) and my ALT was 2500 (normal is also 50)-- They got me on Zofran, pain meds (mouth) and 8lbs of fluid gain.<br />
Good news is sed rate and enzymes have trended down down down. The ALT is 975 right now, buy I am home. The Sed rate and pancreatic enzymes are also down... but this was the toughest hospitalization yet. They are attributing the liver enzymes to "sludge" and dehydration.<br />
<br />
I am feeling extremely isolated. I really just want normalcy back.. running, working, liver functions near 50 etc. I feel sad and have been having panic attacks and insomnia... I guess this is a call for friends...<br />
<br />
I'm hoping to get back to work by the beginning of July.. fingers crossed. I haven't even heard from anyone from my job and I email them regularly. It makes me sad... let's face it, everything is making me sad.<br />
<br />
Life on the homefront is amazing. I am so lucky to have Nitza and Ale and my mom and a few friends have really stuck by me...they know who they are and I love them with my whole heart.<br />
<br />
I go Tuesday and the following Monday for liver tests and doctor visits. I'm dreading this week a lot. Nitza will be at work all week, which is our normal... but I'm especially clingy.<br />
<br />
I cannot wait for her parents to come on June 11, 2011... I will have company and I love them so much!!! It will be great.<br />
<br />
I have a TON of positive things in my life... I know this is the pity train... I have a beautiful home, a beautiful spouse, who is also my best friend and someone who would do anything for me, a lovely kiddo, 2 ridiculously troublemaking dogs, a garden and my health.. My lungs are AMAZING.. and I am really grateful for that... I'm scared about the rest, but doing what's best.<br />
<br />
More to come this week. My little sister Erin's RN pinning is tomorrow and I am so thrilled.... I plan to get back to running this week.. but I'm going to run because Nitza does have today off and I want to be with her!!Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-6482851230591700632011-05-19T10:55:00.000-04:002011-05-19T10:55:19.305-04:00the "e" key & and a thankful thursdayIt started yesterday. my the's were th's and e was conspicuously absent from every word I typed... and you've probably gotten by now that I am a talker so that's a whole lot of e's. As a matter of fact,<br />
<br />
The following information has been retrieved from wisegeek.com:<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><i>The most commonly used letter in the English</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><i> language is the letter “e”. This is the case in the general language, in fiction and non-fiction writings, journalism, religious works like the Bible, and even in Morse code.<br />
<br />
With “e” being so common in the English language, one would think that it would start the most words. Actually “t” begins the most words, followed by “o.” “E” is the letter which most commonly occurs third in a word, and is the third most common second letter in a word. The most common second letter in a word in the English language is h.<br />
<br />
Actually, “e” is far down the list of English language word beginners, and comes in at the 15th place. The five most common letters beginning words are “t,” “o,” “a,” “w,” and “b.”</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">I miss my macbook. We are very attached. This whole macbook in the shop thing got me to think about how much I value routine and things that belong to me. I am on nitza's macbook air and all the favorites are hers, naturally because its her laptop, and I miss my favorites... all those kind of odd things.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">At any rate, I'm thankful for my Macbook and that the apple store was happy I was forthright a about the incident of Ale and the Gatorade that they will try to fix my keyboard for free. No liquid got inside because I flipped it pretty darn quick. I'm grateful for Nitza who knows me... like really really knows me which includes the great things, the annoying things and the downright secret things I don't share... she is amazing to me and since we've been together I've never gone a day without feeling loved... or a moment for that matter... she may have put it on hold a few times when I have come home with Ale and great ideas that are really really noisy and she has a headache, but those are fewer and further between.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">I'm so grateful and proud of my sister Erin who completed her last nursing school exam and she needs to be pinned and pass the boards and RN world you will welcome another wonderful loving giving nurse. I'm grateful that nitza's parents Dona Lydia and Don Carlos will be coming to visit us the second week of June... YEAH!!! I am grateful for my mom.. who I call a lot of times each day, and she answers a lot of times each day, and she talks to me a lot of times each day.--- I am grateful for S.Tom. If I were every destined for a dad, he is it. He got 4 kids when he married my mom a lot of years ago and we each have a ton of baggage and he loves us for who we are and I'm not sure he even knows we're not his blood children (shhh don't want to upset him!!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">I guess what I am getting at "e" key and all, is that I am incredibly blessed with new friends (DMM) and Old friends (KJ and HJ)... and I have an amazing family and an amazing community and the most precious nuclear family and 2 fluffy doggies. What's better?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">Pause</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">Pause</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">Pause</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">Not going to oral surgery today.. that's not better, but I have insurance and hell if they already went into the bone twice and need to again today, what's a third time right?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">Pics will commence when I get my laptop back :(</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">Happy Thankful Thursday All... </span>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-49241245274070624132011-05-17T11:19:00.000-04:002011-05-17T11:19:47.849-04:00my mom by any other name...... well just isn't my mom! <div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbdivnSsUDXYIR0jHliCFAYtkZ9dV-BXPob3SBOhjIjhr4UsSO6ogDj_DCaJDeknIoQy0sxBAH1SHQebOj7nC6xm-rGdVgtgDhyphenhyphen-mwNABIh66jOYZh2Y0V_3o9Queo_yKABDChIUUD8es/s1600/mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbdivnSsUDXYIR0jHliCFAYtkZ9dV-BXPob3SBOhjIjhr4UsSO6ogDj_DCaJDeknIoQy0sxBAH1SHQebOj7nC6xm-rGdVgtgDhyphenhyphen-mwNABIh66jOYZh2Y0V_3o9Queo_yKABDChIUUD8es/s320/mom.jpg" width="281" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This is my mom...as I envision her when I close my eyes and conjure up the image.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Life is funny and we all have crosses to carry and battles to fight... let's just say my mom's has been heavier and harder. I will not tell her story. It is hers, but I will say that she's come through battle scars and all, a more beautiful person than words would give credence.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My mom is hilarious... I talk to her multiple times a day... one of us will think of something funny that happened to tell the other. I call her every morning before nine to check in and I call her every night to check out. Many days we talk a number of times in between. My mother is the most beautiful, strong, resilient, caring, giving person I know.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When I am in the hospital she comes every other day with flavor blasted gold fish, an orange plant or flower (orange is my favorite color) and we play Rummy. She lets me keep drug induces inaccurate score (well until this last time when I won by 400 points.) </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">She listens as I cry, and doesn't try to fix it. She lets me be me. She listens as I laugh and she laughs with me. She loves Nitza like she is her own daughter and treats Alejandro like the little royalty he is. She is amazing.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4EP0jdg7BUcFyzYA5J2DySVmnlWGcQ4EN2vK4gS9aIQ6VK2tmaIHIOdzKIk8ar1PbU6OAQUk6RehIPd_-etym9amnfsAlMQKSw-go-BQ7VbR-kH7QF_g250AWagpWj81zgm7nJyhawbk/s1600/IMG_8789.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4EP0jdg7BUcFyzYA5J2DySVmnlWGcQ4EN2vK4gS9aIQ6VK2tmaIHIOdzKIk8ar1PbU6OAQUk6RehIPd_-etym9amnfsAlMQKSw-go-BQ7VbR-kH7QF_g250AWagpWj81zgm7nJyhawbk/s320/IMG_8789.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale is teach my mother how to play Angry Birds.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">She loves my sisters and brother, brother-in-law and her glory and pride "baby Oscar" (her grandson) with the abundance of her heart. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj047KmOL7folHnrdORCl035kjACkhZ98y4918O07x4c__vL8ZtUxjC4Y9dOG_l8OT_nApAIb2k6k_csc6GgXM3yXl52PyWK_QUGBm9IfKBR6pgKxTLKqvN2S2EdOdajrg1L3jM4CFeNVg/s1600/IMG_8145.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj047KmOL7folHnrdORCl035kjACkhZ98y4918O07x4c__vL8ZtUxjC4Y9dOG_l8OT_nApAIb2k6k_csc6GgXM3yXl52PyWK_QUGBm9IfKBR6pgKxTLKqvN2S2EdOdajrg1L3jM4CFeNVg/s320/IMG_8145.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Baby Oscar" and his "Gamma"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We don't get to choose our family, but every day I thank the God who holds me that this is who I got for a mother. She is spectacular and I want to thank her (obviously very publicly) for her generosity, time, heart, tears, laughter, wisdom, persistence and unabashed love.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I LOVE YOU MOM!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thank you for all you do and who you are.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-40969439128147857602011-05-15T10:32:00.001-04:002011-05-15T10:32:57.207-04:00"In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” Oscar WIlde<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 64px;">I am home. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>I was discharged 3 days ago from Hartford Hospital. I feel good. I will be going back weekly to see oral surgery and that's good because the tooth behind the one they extracted has stopped being tolerable to cold and hot... more to come on that as it unfolds itself. I feel a peace in my heart that I know I haven't felt for a while.. in the sense that I've been sidetracked by the pain in my body. I am carrying a 101 fever today, but I'll give the tooth credit for that.<br />
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It feels good to feel this peace. On Thursday after I was released, Ale had his reading session with Ms. C. He's not lacking in reading, he's 5 and is frustrated because he wants to sit and read a book. He adores her. He wants her to live with us and it is so beautiful to be nearby and listen to her, so tuned in with him and he, so entranced by what she is teaching him.<br />
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On Friday I got my hair cut, which is one of my favorite things to do and it was many months overdue and the gray's were popping:<br />
(sorry about the zombie eyes)--<br />
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I also met with a friend for coffee, who is new in the sense of longevity, but seriously I feel like we are long lost siblings who've known each other for so long... we talked and laughed and made plans for upcoming day... Friends are amazing gift.<br />
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Friday night we went out to dinner at Wood N Tap and watched "No Strings Attached", which was so adorable. It was light hearted and I love Natalie Portman and well, as in Tara's Way To Watch A Movie, I fell asleep in the last 15 minutes.. I either fall asleep in the first 15 or the last 15 so in this case.. big shout out to the producers for keeping me awake..<br />
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Saturday was an amazing day-- In the first hour of my day, in true Tara style, I annoyed the heck out of Nitza by not walking the dogs, being lazy and just letting them out back and being lazier and not cleaning up the #2 the left and for sending them upstairs without feeding them so they bothered her until she got up and fed them... so after I rightfully owned my laziness we moved on to<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 64px;">G A R D E N I N G</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We headed out for veggies to plant, more mulch, topsoil, wood to finish a project and I found 16 dollars on Starbucks gift card---- SCORE!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">The weather was amazing in our little area of the world so we had a great time:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Nitza mulched the front of our house. </div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I finished building this garden box for Nitza so she could have ample planting room and here she is in all her happiness planting away.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Nitza in the evening (though not last) with Bella and Lola in her arms... I am so happy.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I fell a fullness of love in my heart. I am incredibly grateful to wake in my beautiful home with my beautiful family, 2 scruffy little dog included. This is what life's about. This is why I'm happy.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-22676190625839774432011-05-11T16:16:00.000-04:002011-05-11T16:16:56.597-04:00you don't always get what you want. you get what you needAnother day another day. I am still in the hospital with no official discharge date. It is likely to be tomorrow, but we'll see how it goes. I was upset yesterday. I ranted and raved and cried and pretty much had a big ole temper tantrum. Today I read, rested, facebooked, texted, wrote some and behaved liked the 36 year old adult that I am. Much needed for all those around me and even those not around me.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">I WAS SUPER CRAZY.</span><br />
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At any rate, usually each day there is something, be it lyrics to a song, a look from a person, something I witness, a comment from a friend that opens my eyes and today, dear <a href="http://runsickboyrun.blogspot.com/">Ronnie</a> made a comment on one of my facebook posts that said with regard to my lack of discharge "I know it stinks, but if you are not getting discharged, you need to be there. If you need to be there, you need to be there :)"<br />
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HELLO-- and that was it. He is right and it made a ton of sense and then I paused and asked God to help me with the battle of letting go of my will. It's his, but sometimes (well a lot of times) I take mine back.<br />
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I have had a very relaxing afternoon -- I am okay and exactly where I need to be at this moment in time... and that's ok because it is what is supposed to be.<br />
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I'm looking forward to running a lot when I get home and getting back into my real groove and putting a marathon schedule together for the hartford marathon that will take place in October, and spending time with my family and friends, going to church, playing with puppies and loving my Nitza and Ale and Mom and Tom. I am very fortunate and grateful, though slightly stir crazy... but that's really okay.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Happier today... </div><br />
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</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-76582395141498726562011-05-10T17:45:00.000-04:002011-05-10T17:45:18.954-04:00need to keep it in sightI think its sufficient to say that today wasn't a great day. As I get on in weeks in here I start to get crazy... add solumedrol to the mix and crazy turns to almost rabid...its so hard to be grateful in those moments that i want to wring someones neck... and i'm not violent... i just cry, which I also did for most of today-- thank you solumendrol and dr p taking a vacation day. i need to keep sight of my heart and my path..<div><br />
</div><div>i will briefly digress... there is an initiative going on here called "continuity of care"-- what they are hoping for is that the cf patients get more comfortable with the other docs, PA's and APRN's so that when their primary pulmonologist is on vacation, the patient will still not be rounded by the hospitalists but by the other MD's in the office-- Given I am really gung-ho on lean process- I was entirely on board with this, until........................</div><div><br />
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</div><div>it was my turn.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I came in here pretty sick. My stomach was awful. My lungs were a mess and I had 2 years of a tooth abscess in my mouth that I had no idea was there that had eaten away at the jaw bone, otherwise known as osteomylitis. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I had 2 oral surgeries, 1 endoscopy and what feels like a million therapies... all that being said, we found a routine that worked for me NOW... not necessarily in 5 weeks but now when it was needed and working... so............</div><div><br />
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</div><div>My dear Dr P had a vacation day and I woke up this morning to 4 of my meds changed by the APRN because they did not understand why I was on them Um.. it is my 14th day here, you have looked at my chart a number of times prior to today.. so um? what's the issue (by the way this is the second time the same aprn did this when Dr P was out)</div><div><br />
</div><div>So I start crying (A LOT) and email dr p immediately. so the nurse is the liason between my hysteria and the aprn... and my poor mother just had to listen to me, but thank god she did. so they dc'd ALL my meds IV and I am on 4 new meds and the rest PO... Um-- I don't absorb abx orally, but I guess we can play this for a day.</div><div><br />
</div><div>So tomorrow I am supposed to go home if "I'm good tonight"-- What the hell does that mean? Don't wet the bed? Don't eat too many snacks? dont' say bad words?</div><div><br />
</div><div>Anyway this is a rant of any rant and I guess I write this for me so it's my rant and i feel a lot better now, but worst fear is that my stomach will get all messed up with the steroids and removal of some PPI's-- we'll see.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Tomorrow Tomorrow</div><div>The sun will come out tomorrow</div><div>It's only </div><div>a </div><div>DAYYYYYYY</div><div>A </div><div>WAYYYYYYYYY</div><div><br />
</div><div>Yes.. that's how crazy I feel.</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-59628181679293198742011-05-09T12:24:00.000-04:002011-05-09T12:24:29.273-04:00Potassium, Steroids, and Numb FacesI have had to stop and be still so that I could remind myself that there are truly things in my life that are beautiful and that I am grateful for... these are the reasons I experience such gratitude:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigXZ38d3Up_iTJ8N1akSL9dYDSE1bQCqh3Nx4cYTD_sUHzlbLMtEQo-D4zSoHcqcQhk5Eyl2Yp0B5jsbEsaHzi4778Cr9lJdrwcdL9gGaV9AN0fJfposH34nci3bSqBKNV2nq8ogYjyF8/s1600/IMG_0169.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigXZ38d3Up_iTJ8N1akSL9dYDSE1bQCqh3Nx4cYTD_sUHzlbLMtEQo-D4zSoHcqcQhk5Eyl2Yp0B5jsbEsaHzi4778Cr9lJdrwcdL9gGaV9AN0fJfposH34nci3bSqBKNV2nq8ogYjyF8/s320/IMG_0169.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizDDP688NOHWgFU556vw6U6DMnClpHVi48P-T7RwArbZmaEfwmIJUQMygj_7e84gti25TuixNaK7nMNDTbw1FwBtKeG35xcSTiMxuIS6h4CLnvA6olYVR5RlTtbUN0T6vA9MscisHwBvU/s1600/ale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizDDP688NOHWgFU556vw6U6DMnClpHVi48P-T7RwArbZmaEfwmIJUQMygj_7e84gti25TuixNaK7nMNDTbw1FwBtKeG35xcSTiMxuIS6h4CLnvA6olYVR5RlTtbUN0T6vA9MscisHwBvU/s320/ale.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and I am so very fortunate to have a great friend give me a bracelet that says "positivity". I have been looking at it A LOT today..</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnk5W4AkHG6esuNmMJXjR8yF4zejmoCh97ZIq855HXWE-xhCNvGRXQKHVc_2HZQBjOjNNHfTppv0hmLcXEICyqYjyA7qjEbldeHmujhfCLMjfK7t0L0U6sN7FZ79vzPnIJSec-VbOPI_Y/s1600/myhand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnk5W4AkHG6esuNmMJXjR8yF4zejmoCh97ZIq855HXWE-xhCNvGRXQKHVc_2HZQBjOjNNHfTppv0hmLcXEICyqYjyA7qjEbldeHmujhfCLMjfK7t0L0U6sN7FZ79vzPnIJSec-VbOPI_Y/s320/myhand.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><br />
<br />
This hospital stay has been hard. Nitza hasn't been able to be here as often and for as long as she has in the past and I miss her to badly. But its been great in the sense that we've addressed my stomach issues with meds. My mind crushing headaches were referred pain from the horrendous mouth abscess. We found the abscess. My lungs are rocking.. I will start running when I get out...<br />
<br />
It's the mouth healing that is difficult and my Potassium is VERY high right now, which is dangerous for my kidneys. They are doing another draw to determine it the first draw was accurate. My kidney function had been off for most of the 2 weeks so far, but has normalized so I don't know. I am back on IV S O L U M E D R O L... i have 845 personalities on that stuff... and none of them are very nice.<br />
<br />
Oral surgery is coming today to reassess. I am numb in my face and the swelling is going back up a little and my fever hovers near 101... but I'm no dentist so they'll have to figure it out. I do have osteomylitis and I also have a severely compromised immune system so those two don't make for a great date.<br />
<br />
So that is the end of my whining session. I know God is watching me. I have family and friends thinking about me and praying for me, but I'm just kind a scared.Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-51759048043177597772011-05-07T09:13:00.000-04:002011-05-07T09:13:24.294-04:00a little of this & a little of thatYesterday I got the very relieving and wonderful news that my bone marrow biopsy was N O R M A L. That might be the only thing about me that is normal (joke -sort of). I was so relieved. It narrows down the immune system issues, which I think they have gotten to the root cause of. <br />
<br />
I am here with no discharge date on the horizon... but that's okay... I'd rather be here with immediate access to doctors than at home with none.<br />
<br />
I had a second oral surgery 3 days ago, and I am still struggling with my mouth and the pain and infection. More to come on that. Nitza brought Ale on Thursday night and it was so great.. I miss them so much-- Last night my dearest friends Kim and Hugh came to visit and I love them... they always make me laugh. Today Mom is coming which I am so excited for as well as nitza and Ale...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxVeep72GW4EqLYZWQEoDbXVHbngxz_8Fgx8cGoHE0YK9xg-PT5xVZihIp5FqT4C2xZHNM46MkswptM2HDWpjW4OYYy9JhmZQmbDojOO0eU24eOW9swt6LLuHgTSYCXbZmnPA3r6Ozw08/s1600/ale4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxVeep72GW4EqLYZWQEoDbXVHbngxz_8Fgx8cGoHE0YK9xg-PT5xVZihIp5FqT4C2xZHNM46MkswptM2HDWpjW4OYYy9JhmZQmbDojOO0eU24eOW9swt6LLuHgTSYCXbZmnPA3r6Ozw08/s320/ale4.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Alejandro playing engines on my bed..</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj19fPmsgPVQYEv-DUog4HHYgUo_WHOkglDdCSUz3BBF6zq43zflTuLZgbfKYT6ZgLCtvZ_Od6yfm96C3PPkhWot1CbcBzz3DGsi6Yy7VLgnk889jPUBPnnKf3sDiCU-pwLvr7P8ShvDrQ/s1600/nitzaale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj19fPmsgPVQYEv-DUog4HHYgUo_WHOkglDdCSUz3BBF6zq43zflTuLZgbfKYT6ZgLCtvZ_Od6yfm96C3PPkhWot1CbcBzz3DGsi6Yy7VLgnk889jPUBPnnKf3sDiCU-pwLvr7P8ShvDrQ/s320/nitzaale.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Alejandro and Nitza.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">School Picture are back!!!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAOnlL8nhyphenhyphenFxtSe3oe3Vmkwbm96M7DiZ2aUkfFyxZJ-z4nhOild6KMzBU-9Ji7vpu-MIXwIYBY-paXcNikcG1zXwhd_B_J_EUhw6NYb5Wzneuur6RiO5sPqwm70YFF1QubsqNdmmFaeWA/s1600/ale3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAOnlL8nhyphenhyphenFxtSe3oe3Vmkwbm96M7DiZ2aUkfFyxZJ-z4nhOild6KMzBU-9Ji7vpu-MIXwIYBY-paXcNikcG1zXwhd_B_J_EUhw6NYb5Wzneuur6RiO5sPqwm70YFF1QubsqNdmmFaeWA/s320/ale3.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4_FLQwvHYZj7BQoqCJbYoIzkjrjXONFPcaTQbTG7SO6eaF005mcvs3dadcwVjQvGalRcWOa8KoEog87-igVu0HGhVEa8QZEqXAbLk_QemmC6hgoUFO0L-_FuUo-0H1kKrjOoy1uS7rP4/s1600/ale1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4_FLQwvHYZj7BQoqCJbYoIzkjrjXONFPcaTQbTG7SO6eaF005mcvs3dadcwVjQvGalRcWOa8KoEog87-igVu0HGhVEa8QZEqXAbLk_QemmC6hgoUFO0L-_FuUo-0H1kKrjOoy1uS7rP4/s320/ale1.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi72jNJnvMKPJoQV40rvsB7ArU-_V_jd-yFQMvriczk1nYEZqNZJMgFg97NBIlKicQrnlBByrQkqh7WCcSj39CNf21U-OsxXsWmJopg5kt0iQOJ114giv7mgmphQs6q8-ZbOoqtVfw_sKg/s1600/ale2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi72jNJnvMKPJoQV40rvsB7ArU-_V_jd-yFQMvriczk1nYEZqNZJMgFg97NBIlKicQrnlBByrQkqh7WCcSj39CNf21U-OsxXsWmJopg5kt0iQOJ114giv7mgmphQs6q8-ZbOoqtVfw_sKg/s320/ale2.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This one is my favorite!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Happy Saturday everyone and have great strides walks to all my friends that are doing them today!!</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-2219398533398043592011-05-06T08:28:00.002-04:002011-05-06T08:28:39.989-04:00The Bone Marrow Test Results<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">are normal!!!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you God!</span>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-18612820234399240812011-05-05T11:47:00.001-04:002011-05-05T11:51:53.942-04:00Day 7-- Hartford Hospital Edition- Thankful ThursdaySo I am still here in the hospital. This has been a very active visit. Today is day 8:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8fkgU0zsIKSvgKIQ6LUmjSr_m_yYmYDtsV-WtT8SLxKeyrWvuHAbQUqfKPHsgHMhVVTY6bP2zJPzNeP5Kzh8KYxZuaI7ucPxxpUXlxQ9_m78MKvAjaCCAZwq2L4hTx6BR9lnXmLeAXog/s1600/Photo+on+2011-05-05+at+11.36.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8fkgU0zsIKSvgKIQ6LUmjSr_m_yYmYDtsV-WtT8SLxKeyrWvuHAbQUqfKPHsgHMhVVTY6bP2zJPzNeP5Kzh8KYxZuaI7ucPxxpUXlxQ9_m78MKvAjaCCAZwq2L4hTx6BR9lnXmLeAXog/s320/Photo+on+2011-05-05+at+11.36.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My lung capacity has gotten better. My 02 is much better. I had my second oral surgery of the week yesterday. I'll spare you gross details, but there was jaw bone involved. I'm in a lot of pain, but its being managed. My ABX have been switched up for this oral infection so hopefully there will be no more oral surgeries. My stomach is settling down a bit with a whole lot of medication. I am having low grade fevers, but it seems okay. At this point I'm not certain of the plan for d/c but likely it will be next week. I'm not full of wisdom or quick witted words today.. I'm just me, tired, in pain and praying for the best outcome. I'm looking forward to seeing my mom and gram today and then Nitza and Alejandro tonight. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I hope that <a href="http://groettumfamily.blogspot.com/">Gavin's</a> great strides walk goes well this weekend and that TONS of people show up and walk. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Please stop by <a href="http://notsobrightandshiny.blogspot.com/">Sarah Jones'</a> blog. She really brought it home in her last entry about CF awareness. It left me with tears and it's an important message. These folks are so articulate in ways I am unable to be, thank God the message gets out!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am grateful for medical insurance and caring nurses, pca's, doctor's, and new friends here at Hartford Hospital. The care is amazing and I know I am in great hands. I am grateful that Nitza had some sort of a weird gut (or god) feeling to nag me about going to the dentist because this infection could have been horrid. I am grateful for my mom, and gram who keep coming to see me every few days driving an hour each way to play cards and keep me company. I love you guys. I'm grateful to friends like Jen V and Sarah J and Josh M and Ronnie S and Sara T who just drop me quick notes to see if I'm okay.We have a stellar CF community. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Bone Marrow results should be back today. I'll keep you all posted. I'm going to rest and then clean up if I can before Mom and Gram come. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">only Love.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Tara</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-9699897663571220972011-05-02T16:03:00.000-04:002011-05-02T16:03:08.542-04:0031 Days of Cystic Fibrosis- Day 2 MedicationsI know that I don't take as many meds as a lot of folks but it feels like a ton! My meds cost me hundreds of dollars a month. They are, not in any order of favorite (that was a joke)--<br />
<br />
Symbacort<br />
Xopenex Inhaler<br />
Proventil Inhaler<br />
Xopenex neb<br />
Pulmozyme Neb<br />
Vit D 50,000 units 1x/week<br />
80mg Omeprazole day<br />
Vit C<br />
Vit B<br />
2 Probiotics<br />
Carafate suspension liquid 1gm/4xday<br />
5-8 senna pills<br />
Azithromycin MWF<br />
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Lovely eh?Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-19695395421682362722011-05-01T17:53:00.000-04:002011-05-01T17:53:10.961-04:0031 days of May the Cystic Fibrosis Way--- Day 1: The Diagnosis<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">A large part of the beauty that spins the world 'round is the differences and similarities that make all of us and our experiences unique... I have heard so many diagnosis stories, and witnessed my brothers at the age of 5, that I've come to realize that we are all different enough to be interesting. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis on 9/1/2009. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">I was hit by a car in 2005 while training for an Ironman Triathlon. I had ben extremely athletic and active until that point. I ran upward of 60 miles a week + other cardio vascular activities. On that fateful day in May of 2005, I was </span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">clipped by a car on a training bike ride. My front brake punctured the structure of my right kidney. I had 18 surgical procedures and eventually lost the kidney.</span></span></span></div><div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"> For the first time in my life I was inactive. Between surgeries I'd get up to run again, only to be sidelined from another surgery. After each procedure I got a lung infection. I had my kidney removed in November of 2008. I had 11 bacterial lung infections in the 9 months that followed. My nephrologist's partner sent me to a pulmonologist.</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">I saw Dr.C. He asked me a lot of routine questions.. Do you smoke? NO.. Drink. Occasionally... etc etc. He went on to ask if anyone in my family had CF.. I thought it an out of the blue kind of odd question and old him my brother did, but I was CERTAIN I did not have it. He nodded his head and ordered a sweat test and labs. </span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">I went to UCONN for a sweat test and wrote it off as another routine test I'd have to go through after all this time and really-- I was so sick of doctors with the kidney charades... I walked out of UCONN, talked to N and my mom and said wondered what they'd do next when the CF test came back negative.</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">On 9/1/2009 Dr C called me and asked me to come to his office for a quick visit. I thought nothing of it. (DENIAL) I mentioned to N that Dr C called and she asked if I wanted her to come with me... I said no, she had meetings and I was sure it would be a quick visit to discuss my sputum or something.</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">I walked in and they were a lot nicer to me than they had been.. maybe nicer is not the right term.. they are and were always nice.. but perhaps more attentive.. did I want water or coffee... Dr C came in with 2 nurses and a pile of results. </span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">"I'm very sorry to tell you Tara that your Sweat Test was positive for CF, confirmed by your Ambry Genetics blood work." </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">Stomach drops.. WHAT??? </span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">I can't have CF. Michael has CF. I do not have CF... but I do have CF.</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">Dr C brought Dr P (my current CF doc and ultra amazing best ever pulmonologist) in to meet me. They would start following me in the clinic and he would be my primary doc.</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">He went on to tell me that his theory on my specific late diagnosis is that I had spent 29 years doing my own CPT. At my peak (of at least years) I was running 60+ miles a week. He told me that I was clearing my own lungs and that when I got in the accident all the mucus settled and I became more symptomatic.</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">I'll never forget that afternoon. I picked Nitza up at work and she was steady. That's something I love tremendously about her... she is steady and predictable. We did not go right home, we went to the evergreen walk, which is an outside shopping area. We walked around and probably looked at gorgeous Mont Blanc Pens at Lux Bond and Green. We headed back to the car and she handed me a tiny white box. I was stunned because I hadn't seen her buy anything and there was certainly no occasion to celebrate.</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">I slowly opened the box and it was a diamond solitaire necklace. It was gorgeous and it really helped me see the beauty in the day... the truth in the diagnosis... the explanations I had been searching for for so long...</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;">That was the beginning of this journey... a journey that has been troublesome and difficult, funny and heartfelt, honest and true... and it's only a quarter over :) I have 90 more years to go!</span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
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</div></div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-57349718955535930442011-05-01T09:30:00.000-04:002011-05-01T09:30:34.590-04:00The Cheeks Of A Chipmunk- WHAT?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQGrCbMrEiiXuE_wovavWJ6Nq5JTV95foR1_F9LguFIn4WqNqPVFe0RNUZfZkIMPzXDiS8-kVzABlSjnweUFGwHeyBaPVztNGqVRzpljHGn8esJ5fpGS7OHZhv7FC9J-C0piAZLaV1cdw/s1600/chippy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQGrCbMrEiiXuE_wovavWJ6Nq5JTV95foR1_F9LguFIn4WqNqPVFe0RNUZfZkIMPzXDiS8-kVzABlSjnweUFGwHeyBaPVztNGqVRzpljHGn8esJ5fpGS7OHZhv7FC9J-C0piAZLaV1cdw/s320/chippy.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This is me extremely unhappy about the the swelling in my right cheek, which is the left side of the photo for you all looking at it. I had oral surgery, as noted earlier and the pain is rough. Ice packs are my new best friend. I had a test to see if I had stones in the ole' bile ducts yesterday but I guess its like finding a needle in a haystack so they are going to wait until they are in my stomach tentatively tomorrow, pending the all important ability to open my mouth for the tube to go down.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It's been a rough time here so far. Kidney functions are too high to get vanco 2x/day. They had to take me off some meds for the kidney functions. I am a slurring drunk-sounding person when I talk with out the perks of even a sip of beer :) The pain in my back is still here when I breath, but no pneumonia on x-rays, just a lot of crackles. I've been sleeping a ton and when I'm not, I'm doing a lot of this:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpDMEdy8-zIx1B6NnhHFxQNLQ_X4aJNczQjHTWOmtaaRie5Aq0ZgyPV1s9QcQ_cPfai5gxJY3jQDZJZxjIk04x5VAwD-XCErMakwyTEWkUmiG0mqBYt6idTP5L7AwYx-abf7NZON3pQpg/s1600/nichi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpDMEdy8-zIx1B6NnhHFxQNLQ_X4aJNczQjHTWOmtaaRie5Aq0ZgyPV1s9QcQ_cPfai5gxJY3jQDZJZxjIk04x5VAwD-XCErMakwyTEWkUmiG0mqBYt6idTP5L7AwYx-abf7NZON3pQpg/s320/nichi.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">which really makes me happy despite my weird outer space look.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My mom and Tom are coming today with I presume Grandma. Nitza will be around by 1 also. I cannot wait to have them all here together for the sheer hilarity of it all... plus we all love each other so much its great.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I really have nothing profound.... nothing even slightly profound... really nothing much at all, so I'll go. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> I wish you all out there in blogworld a very beautiful Sunday.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Tara</div>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-56131099262668414792011-04-29T21:50:00.000-04:002011-04-29T21:50:55.497-04:00IV's, O2, and Teeth?Today was a day. I woke up to chest x-ray transport. Did that. Went to see the oral surgeon for that "spot" they found on the x-ray. Turns out the tooth and 2 year old infection that were the gray spot needed to come out now, like in 45 minutes... So we did that. He had to scrape the infection from the bone and remove a cyst--All in a days work and 5 stitches later I am in pain. My kidney numbers are high so my vanco can only come Q24 and my fortaz is steady. I saw the GI today and go for another endoscopy Monday and ultrasound tomorrow. He thinks I have peptic ulcer disease and a possible stone in my bile duct left over from when I got my gallbladder out-- if so they'll remove it wednesday.<br />
<br />
This is simply ridiculous. My pft's are about 27%-32% below my baseline still so we're going to treat until they improve.<br />
<br />
Marrow tests will be back on Thursday of next week giving us further direction and I also learned that I don't make antibodies... right... no fighters in there.<br />
I'm sorry this is so rambley, but I am ultimately very rambley right now.<br />
<br />
ENOUGH OF THE FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF, on to other things:<br />
<br />
While admittedly I did not get up at 4 am to watch the royals marry, I did get up at 4 am to use the restroom and heard a number of other patients hooting and hollering... so I was kind of up because of the royals, but really not for them.<br />
I was able to not watch royalty marry but feel like I did because <a href="http://groettumfamily.blogspot.com/">Jen V</a> and <a href="http://oceandesert.blogspot.com/">Sara T</a> pretty much kept us all up to speed--- which was entirely the smiling point of my day-- that and when a friend surprised me with coffee and nitza came to play words with friends for a few hours.<br />
<br />
So tomorrow is the big ultra sound and hoping the kitchen might finally have gotten the food I don't eat order out right.Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-89455043763676110582011-04-28T23:19:00.000-04:002011-05-01T09:13:01.784-04:00All That I Know Is I'm Breathing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkFhx9bTmuRPfajH3_U7DMvgqjfwADXlsZkdlUrl1tIF52o6xBVOxbVcihwNpx27dP7fO7fLDJf96CnVOvEEcy26eliPfT6qgiSoXegSAhnFVTaeA0xpTiG4LwTP_yPXB8Z56vy-RLyVI/s1600/me04282011HH.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkFhx9bTmuRPfajH3_U7DMvgqjfwADXlsZkdlUrl1tIF52o6xBVOxbVcihwNpx27dP7fO7fLDJf96CnVOvEEcy26eliPfT6qgiSoXegSAhnFVTaeA0xpTiG4LwTP_yPXB8Z56vy-RLyVI/s400/me04282011HH.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">"The storm is coming but i don't mind.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">People are dying, i close my blinds.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">All that i know is i'm breathing now.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">I want to change the world...instead i sleep.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">I want to believe in more than you and me.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">But all that i know is i'm breathing.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">All i can do is keep breathing.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">All we can do is keep breathing now."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">--- By Ingrid Michaelson</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">Sometimes ending up with an unexpected stay on your local CF ward is, well, a blessing in disguise I guess. This struggle of all of the few health things going on is just kind of getting too much for me...Reinforcements were needed- and reinforcements we have.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">I have been walking through a few days now with my eyes have shut pleading for wakefulness... I guess every plea cannot go answered, or perhaps my state of wakefulness what an answer to something that may have been much sleepier...</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">So we'll tackle the lungs, the blood, the mouth, the stomach and see where that takes us... In a medical breakthrough today I learned that my body is not creating antibodies. Of he 14 things the doctor tested I had 0 for all 14. So that's really not good... but at least we can address that one and take care of these isues a little bit at a time.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">I'm fried, tired, jumpy, and nearing delirium.. so I'll write more tomorrow.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">Love Love Love (expression borrowed from <a href="http://notsobrightandshiny.blogspot.com/">Sarah Jones</a> )</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">Until another time.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">-Tara</span></span>Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-34022452605523418782011-04-26T16:03:00.001-04:002011-04-26T16:03:52.553-04:00The strawI'm so frustrated and fluctuating between tears and more tears. I've been having a pretty decent amount if pain for about 10 days from a gastritis flare up-- it's like a catch 20--- I have Cf so I need iv anti biotics and steroids often, they reek havoc on my stomach so much that it feels like a power sander in there-- I don't drink, smoke, do illegal drugs etc. I take carafate, omeprazole etc for my stomach but the pain feels line I'm going to die st times-- I can't focus, and I'm lacking motivation so I get down on myself and spin into a nasty cycle--/ <br /><br /><center><a href='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/show_photo.php?p=11/04/26/2420.jpg'><img src='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/photos/11/04/26/s_2420.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />Tarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-60689959115881049772011-04-25T11:59:00.000-04:002011-04-25T11:59:01.476-04:00Settling dustYesterday was a day full of busy-ness and family, church and reflection, too much candy and a whole lot of love, running around searching for Easter eggs and squealing with laughter. Yesterday was a whole big full day.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiopxmUHuqC849fWeQSB5eReBaZ-HhcHwMdBFkjm7YHPuYSiUqWr7J75qduxwDQgWiOQNCQmsoHYsuOS-KBb42YuR8iz7PPRnD3GsK1mODWGzdwaLHys9NIAAcLGFkYldQ7NqNb1q1hLOo/s1600/IMG_8759.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiopxmUHuqC849fWeQSB5eReBaZ-HhcHwMdBFkjm7YHPuYSiUqWr7J75qduxwDQgWiOQNCQmsoHYsuOS-KBb42YuR8iz7PPRnD3GsK1mODWGzdwaLHys9NIAAcLGFkYldQ7NqNb1q1hLOo/s320/IMG_8759.JPG" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Alejandro and Mommy before church</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1EaK9Br12iPKnEnJ292V5VrOKZMJnTw8BKQyHZK1-BkYPeCFirekT5e_uacZgjVJMw38484hfdJ_QfEmQtWzfBpmfwrI0r5kGjjJDaBvQ8QLNoVjq5ry9ECiW9WPRS8evYOr72uwqdMs/s1600/IMG_8764.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1EaK9Br12iPKnEnJ292V5VrOKZMJnTw8BKQyHZK1-BkYPeCFirekT5e_uacZgjVJMw38484hfdJ_QfEmQtWzfBpmfwrI0r5kGjjJDaBvQ8QLNoVjq5ry9ECiW9WPRS8evYOr72uwqdMs/s320/IMG_8764.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale getting his Easter basket at my mom's house</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjihq_Z3sFvsu83iZS-ZTGbujf9_JilIIeImbXg8jQlEhT7QqnOx6Jl2v5kWiETO25x4VWVZEY9frbZtepk-bDmcIrzWxiIz9nwAPAp8UBBrkaYNba-Qk3igj2RdrgFdR2b7lGEAI6ishM/s1600/IMG_8765.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjihq_Z3sFvsu83iZS-ZTGbujf9_JilIIeImbXg8jQlEhT7QqnOx6Jl2v5kWiETO25x4VWVZEY9frbZtepk-bDmcIrzWxiIz9nwAPAp8UBBrkaYNba-Qk3igj2RdrgFdR2b7lGEAI6ishM/s320/IMG_8765.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale looking at all his goodies</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGJn3V8EyK34Gl9YTVRrcExUdA1FlFNXB4cfetVZ8xttCO5GMOjcqh2VDRNHdvDLtqPXlbCemYNJXGFJ6bh7ikMIxO4JwdkYBdRN6YQqniM1zioDJ1jRTKPYLfz_5xsEfsBVFHfIZqIho/s1600/IMG_8768.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGJn3V8EyK34Gl9YTVRrcExUdA1FlFNXB4cfetVZ8xttCO5GMOjcqh2VDRNHdvDLtqPXlbCemYNJXGFJ6bh7ikMIxO4JwdkYBdRN6YQqniM1zioDJ1jRTKPYLfz_5xsEfsBVFHfIZqIho/s320/IMG_8768.JPG" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The littlest easter bunny</div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4YSq4Yt5bnAbr95mfJuf9-1nQJ3jnGVkAtopBeDNlUnpUX7YaJHCQxH-Azm18cl7rlCB3OQUHM9fGZNDyi0X3a0pPro0dMqOJOEfXtO9phfCSiAEHNlsCvb6ZKizPXUv1p0eXhqcM9W0/s1600/IMG_8777.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4YSq4Yt5bnAbr95mfJuf9-1nQJ3jnGVkAtopBeDNlUnpUX7YaJHCQxH-Azm18cl7rlCB3OQUHM9fGZNDyi0X3a0pPro0dMqOJOEfXtO9phfCSiAEHNlsCvb6ZKizPXUv1p0eXhqcM9W0/s320/IMG_8777.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Mom watching Ale opening his basket</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Zta1CLCUtJp63lf6fSIcmG8QoRAH5agO7rqaLSv9wMZqYZ_9MEOLJNoMJlfH-JbMGvsXAoNpjyCU6tpe9-2BFxPkfHjxIGfy0CMtXK0IqbSb5DUfpoerlxaULpK6evqh8JvZ8lLslUQ/s1600/IMG_8788.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Zta1CLCUtJp63lf6fSIcmG8QoRAH5agO7rqaLSv9wMZqYZ_9MEOLJNoMJlfH-JbMGvsXAoNpjyCU6tpe9-2BFxPkfHjxIGfy0CMtXK0IqbSb5DUfpoerlxaULpK6evqh8JvZ8lLslUQ/s320/IMG_8788.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Nitza and Grandma Gert chatting</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkULzfqZoFG7eUfidkEUBiDi31zKVbdmpBvz-3SGKCOUuZoqsVhcXOryr4BEh6ris63r_SyDF1Xb1Zd7vA5YlD2ZIlyVXJh_oSMRWio1_UOGjkd0R7dmfVkENCPURph0fsKspp9XUDO6w/s1600/IMG_8789.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkULzfqZoFG7eUfidkEUBiDi31zKVbdmpBvz-3SGKCOUuZoqsVhcXOryr4BEh6ris63r_SyDF1Xb1Zd7vA5YlD2ZIlyVXJh_oSMRWio1_UOGjkd0R7dmfVkENCPURph0fsKspp9XUDO6w/s320/IMG_8789.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale and my mom playing Angry Birds</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvnyDA4XXy7k0_fuCuCtjsvHuXcL6RqIpUduAldBirhLAXT3GbeTtkx3g6kHIRT7Usx606Y_cRdj5ERw7Wj8n8qs4ielS5g69HZIedljl3ZSkunsNXF3vHcwcWWRbY1VRDV-sLMQmJwpk/s1600/IMG_8790.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvnyDA4XXy7k0_fuCuCtjsvHuXcL6RqIpUduAldBirhLAXT3GbeTtkx3g6kHIRT7Usx606Y_cRdj5ERw7Wj8n8qs4ielS5g69HZIedljl3ZSkunsNXF3vHcwcWWRbY1VRDV-sLMQmJwpk/s320/IMG_8790.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Being silly with the iPhone</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqd0rBbuB2MSajmR4m1vXfLUt6za0HIJKpf9bSV-UkEjkNWgRXWhTFtj_eZpgio0g7TRvR_-biOFOUhVGd1-NvqFTpTg8dGSS_6btrfFe7K_vFfN9KJ_6LNClIZK2CrYC1Nu4-uu3mZ8/s1600/IMG_8793.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqd0rBbuB2MSajmR4m1vXfLUt6za0HIJKpf9bSV-UkEjkNWgRXWhTFtj_eZpgio0g7TRvR_-biOFOUhVGd1-NvqFTpTg8dGSS_6btrfFe7K_vFfN9KJ_6LNClIZK2CrYC1Nu4-uu3mZ8/s320/IMG_8793.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Super cuteness</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirRrBnZRpdfohqiXG6r7W4yGZN9DvTlWcaw133q8kXHmlBa9RttrkSVF9qfY2eCh9cY6Q3219KFMO_RxVcCdgNyXFfSe-BcIYNMsvPOFgLtTeYNjsD5RKEBxWqtoNZL6gupXAQJvT58-E/s1600/IMG_8794.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirRrBnZRpdfohqiXG6r7W4yGZN9DvTlWcaw133q8kXHmlBa9RttrkSVF9qfY2eCh9cY6Q3219KFMO_RxVcCdgNyXFfSe-BcIYNMsvPOFgLtTeYNjsD5RKEBxWqtoNZL6gupXAQJvT58-E/s320/IMG_8794.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The annual Easter Egg Hunt. Tara racing Ale for Eggs</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmDmjS9zhZtPht1UOjG7D3S2NEkZ9pJ3UOyUbXMsRrerWnC4DLpTqoPdCzJc-QNnxiM4vyov7g_4CQSNmOhBjZl-s9CSE55iDfD-8szmvZ_jy3a73L2_VAwsCtxTDFUzPo7B1MgK7zKOM/s1600/IMG_8795.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmDmjS9zhZtPht1UOjG7D3S2NEkZ9pJ3UOyUbXMsRrerWnC4DLpTqoPdCzJc-QNnxiM4vyov7g_4CQSNmOhBjZl-s9CSE55iDfD-8szmvZ_jy3a73L2_VAwsCtxTDFUzPo7B1MgK7zKOM/s320/IMG_8795.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The hunt in full swing</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHZ6y9BrmMewB1romSuH7xLgF6J8PQ49LQWXViHLY6V0libTfY9-h-7inlEFZ0QWMYc8vJNyP0Oi9kASs8w6wcGRDl3JopZ13lLDjJPeuXk6VJFfhLUg7hZdub7gxBRFmZiQXsYmdM1DY/s1600/IMG_8796.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHZ6y9BrmMewB1romSuH7xLgF6J8PQ49LQWXViHLY6V0libTfY9-h-7inlEFZ0QWMYc8vJNyP0Oi9kASs8w6wcGRDl3JopZ13lLDjJPeuXk6VJFfhLUg7hZdub7gxBRFmZiQXsYmdM1DY/s320/IMG_8796.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hunting</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO52TiebHZ5bKDvNjwLunncIVdMmugZgGRbO-EF7gPdA18lRfllaNZVpkKv6G7NHwvmDdVqXGwQcYjhpABqLyM_cuWn6KOkJJOmi-DGJPpNQ_CSj04X9EXhuRnq-kdbIatA2S-A9RjqHU/s1600/IMG_8797.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO52TiebHZ5bKDvNjwLunncIVdMmugZgGRbO-EF7gPdA18lRfllaNZVpkKv6G7NHwvmDdVqXGwQcYjhpABqLyM_cuWn6KOkJJOmi-DGJPpNQ_CSj04X9EXhuRnq-kdbIatA2S-A9RjqHU/s320/IMG_8797.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">ALe with his bag of eggs</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRd29B5DFSD02itLGiqLv-bOH_guRpCDHwiElhJzP3soycqhhLU6XTBXUfzOBgMshjeX1kp-a94zhaAixgZZLso5RD2o1ZaUe6uLZFI8B7s1DGQ-ir10sgSFvo3gt2Rqz1P7tkrKblWKI/s1600/IMG_8798.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRd29B5DFSD02itLGiqLv-bOH_guRpCDHwiElhJzP3soycqhhLU6XTBXUfzOBgMshjeX1kp-a94zhaAixgZZLso5RD2o1ZaUe6uLZFI8B7s1DGQ-ir10sgSFvo3gt2Rqz1P7tkrKblWKI/s320/IMG_8798.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale and Tara searching for eggs</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnETtbvD01gmYhNI60kk8QrBbnfIGw8EiEpKfolQhY6Ci5lZpr97ZsAmxvPRzKJXkyP_BAepMfSEvqlW3UOCXAH_W4g8GNFdqr0biwW_guKE5Eo2uTZET7uYuY18r-7hlsjv91OOGiT8Y/s1600/IMG_8799.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnETtbvD01gmYhNI60kk8QrBbnfIGw8EiEpKfolQhY6Ci5lZpr97ZsAmxvPRzKJXkyP_BAepMfSEvqlW3UOCXAH_W4g8GNFdqr0biwW_guKE5Eo2uTZET7uYuY18r-7hlsjv91OOGiT8Y/s320/IMG_8799.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The cutest most dignified ever egg find</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJms1rh-fDugbTxljsUEw4NE1AmDVW6XYnXqZGVCtgC3XlKdSF49UbSRDOCF30HA8v7ioXBEjlakC3A53f1NllXEn8HCtVT2nfV65dVN927IqZ_oW08a3qbKr4K2dsYKEWWsP5OWh09SM/s1600/IMG_8800.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJms1rh-fDugbTxljsUEw4NE1AmDVW6XYnXqZGVCtgC3XlKdSF49UbSRDOCF30HA8v7ioXBEjlakC3A53f1NllXEn8HCtVT2nfV65dVN927IqZ_oW08a3qbKr4K2dsYKEWWsP5OWh09SM/s320/IMG_8800.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Nitza in red</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRP3v2BsmbMCJGDl3i6G6nR6CPM_hChYJOJo7WW0F-TJMp0OXUPOGSEWyP4VKEWoTb5vJTKG6UNE5oUu1dfS-jsd2l6lbm5VXEwaCuGd-J0DkzvAQwetUnKogukc13nL2IChqRfVGTuSc/s1600/IMG_8801.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRP3v2BsmbMCJGDl3i6G6nR6CPM_hChYJOJo7WW0F-TJMp0OXUPOGSEWyP4VKEWoTb5vJTKG6UNE5oUu1dfS-jsd2l6lbm5VXEwaCuGd-J0DkzvAQwetUnKogukc13nL2IChqRfVGTuSc/s320/IMG_8801.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale running for more eggs</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh56Fng7ySNuJ6oghr8O_28PrnZcRZNAPckP8ePftzasyk7jMdhQYkJ1GfKyxvTdkXxoh9mqLNDQNkb0lUZegPYBDjRmopG7w9AWAcXy-cB2CA25cohfcqc83Z9suOF6oPxchTAiJMxII4/s1600/IMG_8802.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh56Fng7ySNuJ6oghr8O_28PrnZcRZNAPckP8ePftzasyk7jMdhQYkJ1GfKyxvTdkXxoh9mqLNDQNkb0lUZegPYBDjRmopG7w9AWAcXy-cB2CA25cohfcqc83Z9suOF6oPxchTAiJMxII4/s320/IMG_8802.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Grandma Gert with Her Eggs</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq0ogJWUmhOVPWyW9f01PRi_REWe9EpLMm8464Bk6caxaOxfyAbCY0vJVB1uSFbVtbrWXo_hD1wj1qZRFtkLuOkF9VdC5UHKPz_OyeSezoCAODvlo9AHqng_XWYelDGnMvLG0xQ-k4GV0/s1600/IMG_8803.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq0ogJWUmhOVPWyW9f01PRi_REWe9EpLMm8464Bk6caxaOxfyAbCY0vJVB1uSFbVtbrWXo_hD1wj1qZRFtkLuOkF9VdC5UHKPz_OyeSezoCAODvlo9AHqng_XWYelDGnMvLG0xQ-k4GV0/s320/IMG_8803.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">More running</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikgOsV9X1dwtwkA-LrYLgJkIfWf5JEqmFh_Hlk1KMHNSJ7E30tEdsTG9twG8Sg9mQMit77HU4RwzN-8699oB0YC2UqPI8nVQF10_Mu920VtfSrcRw04mosXZqZQ2CVXkyC5oPiTHgQtZE/s1600/IMG_8804.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikgOsV9X1dwtwkA-LrYLgJkIfWf5JEqmFh_Hlk1KMHNSJ7E30tEdsTG9twG8Sg9mQMit77HU4RwzN-8699oB0YC2UqPI8nVQF10_Mu920VtfSrcRw04mosXZqZQ2CVXkyC5oPiTHgQtZE/s320/IMG_8804.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Nitza pulling up the rear</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlWfOIEarl6p1AIBIW98hO3Fn9MNVqK6gxVW8LINNCYP36PEvI6S81pT_480CGJzWoaisXoQnJR6v_FSIBVFUhqB3EL5hyphenhyphenA05ASbQ3jAsK_j7hb4U8k6RuhblVI6jXEsD5uokC1KmrFqI/s1600/IMG_8805.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlWfOIEarl6p1AIBIW98hO3Fn9MNVqK6gxVW8LINNCYP36PEvI6S81pT_480CGJzWoaisXoQnJR6v_FSIBVFUhqB3EL5hyphenhyphenA05ASbQ3jAsK_j7hb4U8k6RuhblVI6jXEsD5uokC1KmrFqI/s320/IMG_8805.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The lone Nitza still searching</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvXbbL3C5g4l3sB53G1v2ImyvdNJv6ExG6wT3MWVshLCnIFztE9p1lnaSFPSs2HTcEO58TAq0hmVUbDo5aMUs57HQd6E0umGtwDFxShLMTEXYqhnmv65BbI8qwqj5wX7bKTijhywbFnPs/s1600/IMG_8806.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvXbbL3C5g4l3sB53G1v2ImyvdNJv6ExG6wT3MWVshLCnIFztE9p1lnaSFPSs2HTcEO58TAq0hmVUbDo5aMUs57HQd6E0umGtwDFxShLMTEXYqhnmv65BbI8qwqj5wX7bKTijhywbFnPs/s320/IMG_8806.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Tara will eggs</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhViH0bKgUZvYdXPLXNUs1jX6JreWr5H1rMg9gsfNasvS5cQ2TqtG5aO3DSFRN8OJKFEW0JKpeDGl0mGkIwHWtTrgJASaMUYJl7oYMG-hCHFkVJ8hXe1xDGBhyphenhyphen5OuJaQ77R0f8U6_nt5iU/s1600/IMG_8807.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhViH0bKgUZvYdXPLXNUs1jX6JreWr5H1rMg9gsfNasvS5cQ2TqtG5aO3DSFRN8OJKFEW0JKpeDGl0mGkIwHWtTrgJASaMUYJl7oYMG-hCHFkVJ8hXe1xDGBhyphenhyphen5OuJaQ77R0f8U6_nt5iU/s320/IMG_8807.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Mom, Ale, Tara</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBV7m88P8TDkirGCgFDkYpmqKLxTnETVJYbhxeKohwPJT5O_gOOY2wstw2TLu647AX9sXgvnBnvRGdtfq_gZbCc3lEW5ncZ29zwE9SoGW4q5OT1z4CR7RYCXGfP6xqPgrD_S1cD3OyIzc/s1600/IMG_8808.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBV7m88P8TDkirGCgFDkYpmqKLxTnETVJYbhxeKohwPJT5O_gOOY2wstw2TLu647AX9sXgvnBnvRGdtfq_gZbCc3lEW5ncZ29zwE9SoGW4q5OT1z4CR7RYCXGfP6xqPgrD_S1cD3OyIzc/s320/IMG_8808.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale eating dinner</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwuby-QO1QWtU-gyrJ3Kpd-XK-wYXbz0U7nWgclJZvwjRXcP4UMduwPeaPbC69nv26lgX7gI8AjfCfNGYM3D0y7f_YFxaX5cHOmJwdI85u2kEz-cZxlz2hDq1P6lZx0oFET4BNAOxLlCY/s1600/IMG_8810.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwuby-QO1QWtU-gyrJ3Kpd-XK-wYXbz0U7nWgclJZvwjRXcP4UMduwPeaPbC69nv26lgX7gI8AjfCfNGYM3D0y7f_YFxaX5cHOmJwdI85u2kEz-cZxlz2hDq1P6lZx0oFET4BNAOxLlCY/s320/IMG_8810.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale and Mommy</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKkADpU8AfUVe1p6DHcEuV7tSJm3kl90AepTiCrad_HJq7JzJIBdAzSEMoR8DZB8ixKZ6VdHqMLbLA-8_qvAp-RDwPiUT52NrDExE-w7CuFcPik3JMyz0VokxRu9Z4-X6Qo3f_5q2orCc/s1600/IMG_8813.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKkADpU8AfUVe1p6DHcEuV7tSJm3kl90AepTiCrad_HJq7JzJIBdAzSEMoR8DZB8ixKZ6VdHqMLbLA-8_qvAp-RDwPiUT52NrDExE-w7CuFcPik3JMyz0VokxRu9Z4-X6Qo3f_5q2orCc/s320/IMG_8813.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Cuteness of Ale</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimJ5R6jySvSI6sxY7YUof4ameaN0YSRbEn5B_6bbbYpimVzqJfqBJvV0ROPhGNu5ngVXaaDoBYaMjAxbC2IWsBaq7HFnRJRdRUnvo8ELeQREyKPxPD-opOHZZyqNQMyRbcvrrNTXSpztE/s1600/IMG_8817.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimJ5R6jySvSI6sxY7YUof4ameaN0YSRbEn5B_6bbbYpimVzqJfqBJvV0ROPhGNu5ngVXaaDoBYaMjAxbC2IWsBaq7HFnRJRdRUnvo8ELeQREyKPxPD-opOHZZyqNQMyRbcvrrNTXSpztE/s320/IMG_8817.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale and Grandma Gert</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvpoDILbXsp_OWUsONJZ_U6JW4ONCqwmaSWzK6zg-aty5yPyz5z5JtZE1qVmPAPg0O2zKTa0M19bmW2yOg6ylJJpmCdgSDDfehZMd-HRFQg5No7MtdTU32-MX82KVX_eaIMI_7rOVfd9I/s1600/IMG_8818.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvpoDILbXsp_OWUsONJZ_U6JW4ONCqwmaSWzK6zg-aty5yPyz5z5JtZE1qVmPAPg0O2zKTa0M19bmW2yOg6ylJJpmCdgSDDfehZMd-HRFQg5No7MtdTU32-MX82KVX_eaIMI_7rOVfd9I/s320/IMG_8818.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Nitza and Step Tom drinking something</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9dqUjpmlRCN_sdA2HsuWRc_S-9AjrITis8ZtnjVeh0vOBuQ1_A6weVZ0mtH4-D1z-29d_TtLaGATK27H0DNqs526x4VXLtMgb7GOGj7QyWZT9Q2FhBev1F3RDL0avxDWQLVMoznybALk/s1600/IMG_8830.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9dqUjpmlRCN_sdA2HsuWRc_S-9AjrITis8ZtnjVeh0vOBuQ1_A6weVZ0mtH4-D1z-29d_TtLaGATK27H0DNqs526x4VXLtMgb7GOGj7QyWZT9Q2FhBev1F3RDL0avxDWQLVMoznybALk/s320/IMG_8830.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ale blowing bubbles</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNE5pzL2qlP7nIWYOSD_gzr0zl8rsbuuPznQXgBoJA1XcElu9VSAtTE-9HAm-DhL9buxdS-TCIhNJmZjXCVdsNTqY6uqqHGfWJMwfzU2R9dcwUWdwZ-NV0DqLk4DMVuP73rt7G8v-4_EQ/s1600/IMG_8833.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNE5pzL2qlP7nIWYOSD_gzr0zl8rsbuuPznQXgBoJA1XcElu9VSAtTE-9HAm-DhL9buxdS-TCIhNJmZjXCVdsNTqY6uqqHGfWJMwfzU2R9dcwUWdwZ-NV0DqLk4DMVuP73rt7G8v-4_EQ/s320/IMG_8833.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Aunt Erin and ALe</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc0Ci2WRguAV8hL2QRl1jXSZw3sAkzeH8s1spIud7_ewhY5zPCjfSO1yKjZatEqlL8ZMz2lJBY3dHlPiBa4cnOtVilvezRn3PsSK02de9BL1zSjtXAWe1tVcy1LP398d1MySNHHN4W30g/s1600/IMG_8778.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc0Ci2WRguAV8hL2QRl1jXSZw3sAkzeH8s1spIud7_ewhY5zPCjfSO1yKjZatEqlL8ZMz2lJBY3dHlPiBa4cnOtVilvezRn3PsSK02de9BL1zSjtXAWe1tVcy1LP398d1MySNHHN4W30g/s320/IMG_8778.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The little bunny Ale</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It was amazingly beautiful.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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Today the dust settles. I am so tired. Ale is at school and Nitza is at work and I want to be productive, but every bone in me hurts. Tomorrow morning I go for an upper endoscopy to see what the story is with the stomach, Wednesday I go see the endontist for a gray spot on an x-ray and then to the oral surgeon... and today I realize that yesterday I just let reality go and I mustered up all of my energy so I don't' have any left today. There are a number of irrational and very real things that are causing me anxiety. It's rainy and gloomy. I will sleep and see if that restores any energy. Maybe I need to use it more sparingly. I don't know. I am tired of medicine and the medical field. I need a break.<br />
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Until tomorrow<br />
TaraTarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776770093536614949.post-54505460649179781772011-04-23T22:23:00.000-04:002011-04-23T22:23:15.153-04:00Adventures with AlejandroI am blessed beyond belief every day that I am alive...I feel that in my being.<br />
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Thursday night ale started to sound like a frog. His voice was crackly and his nose was extremely runny and he had a tiny fever... He had a tough night coughing son we kept him home from school on Friday, which I felt good about anyway because it was good Friday and we've used Easter as a time to really talk about god and Jesus with him. He understands that Jesus was crucified and died for us to live. He is also a very logically thinking boy so he's asked a lot of questions and requested a timeline of holy week. He's got the basics down. Jesus died on Friday, went to heaven on Saturday and rose again on Sunday...so... We went to target and I got meds and a new chapstick as well as some groceries and target was busier than Christmas -- we were in the checkout line for a while discussing now it was earth day and the things we do to contribute tomthe earths well being etc when ale looked a little stoic and announced in Avery well articulated voice that YES it was earth day but much more importantly it was the day that Jesus died and thAt was much more important than earth day... Well said little man... So naturally everyone turned and gave that " this child knows too much" look at me and I smiled proudly for my boy...<br />
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We've had a great few days together....on Friday night we took him to his first ever movie in a theatre tom see rio. He frightens easily and we were a little bit concerned but he handled the whole scene very well, only pointing out the "bad" words I.e shut up and stupid. He also picked up a few funny lines so it was all worth it. <br />
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Today nitza got her hair cut etc and nails done so it was a long day for ale and I at the mall. He and I went and got him his Easter outfit and we were checking out when he professed that he needed to ask me a question. He asks a LOT of questions, but he always prefaces it with, "I have to ask you a question." So anyway, he says, "Tari, is swear a bad word?" and I paused, thinking that it was an impressive question and wondering what really goes on in his head... So I said,"No Ale. The word swear is a word to describe a bad word." That sustained him for 3 seconds.<br />
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I found myself very grateful for our ongoing conversation that starts when he wakes up and breaks only when he talks to Nitza and continues when he talks to me.<br />
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The funniest Ale-ism of the day was in the car when we were all leaving the mall. He asked if God made earth first before trees. Nitza said that God had to have made earth first before trees because if trees came first and there was no earth, where would the trees grow. He was pacified by that and asked how long it took God to create the Earth (Ale has been obsessed with God for the last few months) I started to tell him the story of creation... One the first day.... and he asked if all people knew that God created the Earth and I told him that there were many schools of thought.. that scientists believed one thing and christians believed another... he paused and asked if he could go to that school when he was bigger...<br />
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So now the boy sleeps excited to go to church in the morning and then head north to my mom's and have an easter egg hunt and get his easter basket from the easter bunny-- we decided to have that be a special grandma's house kind of thing and keep the easter bunny stuff at bay around here...<br />
My life is amazing.. my heart is full and that little boy just makes me smile and think and pause in moments when i need it most...<br />
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I hope never to forget that one ALWAYS can run faster in a new pair of sneakers... that even when someone who is 5 promises to carry his juice, I will end up carrying it... that when I say I will give him a kiss when he's asleep and I am off to bed I'd better not forget, because I will be asked about it first thing in the morning... that 5 is not too young to handle big truths... that streudel is a breakfast food because it does have fruit in it... and that there are never too many legos.<br />
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Happy Easter to you all.. I will post pictures of our day on Monday and I have a week coming up full of medical procedures for a change < insert SARCASM here> so I'll write as I can.<br />
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Be well<br />
TaraTarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00263776901831083777noreply@blogger.com0