life so often for me manifests in the the less overt... in the moments that pass after those supposed to be huge significant moments... the ones that have meaning.
N came to see me at lunch today as a surprise and i realized, not for the first time, but in a significant way that I recognized her heels clicking on the floor as soon as she walked onto the unit... she possesses confidence, commands respect and climbs on my window sill in a little pink suit to get some fresh air in here... I so love her.
my mother drives 1.5 hours many times a week when I am here to sit and play cards with me... she brings me coffee and just sits...
ale tells me its less fun at home when I am here (and I am sure the neighbors and puppies would agree, though mommy might think its less rambunctious) and he means it from the bottom of his really big 5 year old heart...
this stay has been reflective as I've seemed to state a few too many times already.. but i'm really learning to see the bigger picture... the you live only once picture and the go walk off a plank infectious diseases doctor I WILL leave here when my dr P says i can....
im going to run the hartford marathon THIS year... 2011.. THIS ONE with Nitza by my side.. (if you see her don't mention that bit yet because i haven't really told her...)--- but I am me and am capable and will get better.. am getting better...
I see the hematologist tomorrow to discuss that ever elusive subject we've been arguing about for a little while.. The Bone Marrow Aspiration.... it is what it is..
I am grateful today for special nurses that stick their heads in my room just to make me smile and because they've chosen this career because they really care... I am grateful for losing at Rummy because it seems to make Gram so happy to win.. I'm grateful that i'm breathing better and can feel my lungs opening... and I'm grateful to go home to my love in a few short days and continue this healing...
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3 comments:
Randommmmm, but hi. I'm a bit of a stalker it seems, but I think we were on the same floor for a week (I just got out today). I saw your name on the board and that your doc was one of the CF docs. You were my neighbor until they moved you to the other side of the floor. We both eyeballed each other a bit on our walks around the unit, I suspect you expected I had CF as well. Hahaha. Anyway, having found your blog, I wanted to say hiiiii and I hope you get out soon. <3
-Fellow CFer from the 11th floor, Emily :)
Hi Emily... Thanks so much for writing.. I am so glad you were able to leave... I am hoping to go tomorrow.. i was just here a month ago for 2 weeks and being here again for a week is no good.. I hope you are getting better!! I hope you love the docs as much as I do here and are getting awesome care! We are blessed with awesome CF docs.Please stay in touch
Tara
I'm actually very new to Hartford Hospital. My doc is McArdle, he's the newbie at Hartford. I followed him from Yale because he's fantastic and I adore him. I met Dr. Pope while I was in this time and love him so far too. Ewwwwwwww on being there so recently. Lameness. Hopefully when you leave you won't be seeing it again for a while. :D
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