My Shower-- Thankful Thursday

I love my home shower. It is large, walk in.. has a few seats in it. Tonight I took the longest most wonderful shower. I am anxious. I am having some difficulty breathing...I did my treatments...it is a horribly scary feeling to feel short of breath.

My heart is racing less now that I lay in my warm bed beside the love of my life with the little fluffies running around and the cutest boy asleep down the hall.

I live a life with a heart full of gratitude. I am not all better.. Dr P says my baseline will take 6 months to come back (and that's without complications.)-- I can get there.. Ask my mom, I'm stubborn as hell and incredibly impatient.

I was struck by a number of things today.. this afternoon... Ale told me that he was afraid his best buddy wasn't going to come home... he is so resilient and expressive that I never realized how much these last 2 hospital stays affected him...We're open to suggestions. He wants to visit and loves being there and flirts with Miss A and Miss M with his cute long eyelashes.. but he's still 5 and one of his parents is still ill.

I talked to my mom on the phone tonight and I was short of breath and with the most loving tone full of pause she asked me to please sit down... I thank god for my mother-- every moment.. every day.. she is my dearest friend... my trusted confidant.  I talk to her at least 6 times a day.. and sometimes that is not enough... She has been my strength..

Nitzita and I were able to openly talk about her fear.. her fright of me being sicker.. and I've been sicker and I pause and know that I spend every day and night with the love of my life...my best friend.. we laugh.. we shake our heads.. we were two fledgling souls that landed right beside one another and happened to look up at the same time... I have a life partner that I truly truly enjoy and am every day grateful for....

and so tonight, we unloaded a week's worth of Hartford Hospital bags into our freshly smelling clean home and got the boy ready for bed and read together like we do each night and as I stepped into my shower I had a moment of pause and really understood that the gift of stepping into that shower is truly what life is about.