Being Forthright & Too much Hospital

So it's been 11 days since I posted a blog update and most of that is due to the fact that I've been pretty sick and I often hide when I'm scared to death or fear that vulnerability that is really too uncomfortable to feel.

The medical:
I was in the hospital a week ( after already being in 5 weeks this year)... I had a tooth abscess that had apparently been there a long time and showed up on x-rays and was substantial enough to need to remove asap. I guess when you are immunocompromised and you have an active infection for a long time, the goal is to get it out. So i had oral surgery (6 stitches) and then a few days later another oral surgery to re-clean the bone (osteomylitis) and remove debris etc. They promised me that I'd be fine on oral anti-biotics. I'm not going to argue with Infectious diseases so we left on oral antibiotics. I went to the hospital that Friday for an IVIG infusion (6 hours) and a CT scan of my mouth. It showed cellulitis and more abscess. On Monday (7 days ago) I had a third oral surgery and the cleaning of that bone and sent home on pain meds with IV antibiotics to begin for a month. My home nurse came and we did the run through of Dorepenem (I am fine with merepenem) -- She did the infusion and stayed because it was my first time on dorepenem. The infusion ended at 9pm and I woke up projectile vomiting at 1130pm-7pm the next day, but I am lucky to have the best nurse in the world, so she came back at 730 Tuesday morning and talked to my doc. We soon understood I was very sick and needed admission. I had a bed at 330.
Nitza came with me and really took the bull by the horns there because I hadn't peed and had no tears etc from the dehydration. It was determined that my liver enzymes ALT (was 3700 (normal is 50) and my ALT was 2500 (normal is also 50)-- They got me on Zofran, pain meds (mouth) and 8lbs of fluid gain.
Good news is sed rate and enzymes have trended down down down. The ALT is 975 right now, buy I am home.  The Sed rate and pancreatic enzymes are also down... but this was the toughest hospitalization yet. They are attributing the liver enzymes to "sludge" and dehydration.

I am feeling extremely isolated. I really just want normalcy back.. running, working, liver functions near 50 etc. I feel sad and have been having panic attacks and insomnia... I guess this is a call for friends...

I'm hoping to get back to work by the beginning of July.. fingers crossed. I haven't even heard from anyone from my job and I email them regularly. It makes me sad... let's face it, everything is making me sad.

Life on the homefront is amazing. I am so lucky to have Nitza and Ale and my mom and a few friends have really stuck by me...they know who they are and I love them with my whole heart.

I go Tuesday and the following Monday for liver tests and doctor visits. I'm dreading this week a lot. Nitza will be at work all week, which is our normal... but I'm especially clingy.

I cannot wait for her parents to come on June 11, 2011... I will have company and I love them so much!!! It will be great.

I have a TON of positive things in my life... I know this is the pity train... I have a beautiful home, a beautiful spouse, who is also my best friend and someone who would do anything for me,  a lovely kiddo, 2 ridiculously troublemaking dogs, a garden and my health.. My lungs are AMAZING.. and I am really grateful for that... I'm scared about the rest, but doing what's best.

More to come this week. My little sister Erin's RN pinning is tomorrow and I am so thrilled.... I plan to get back to running this week.. but I'm going to run because Nitza does have today off and I want to be with her!!